


Atonement

by Astrangefan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Acquaintances to Lovers, F/M, Flashbacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Redemption, Seizures, Slow Build, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:22:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 22,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29409723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astrangefan/pseuds/Astrangefan
Summary: Hermione is suffering the effects of the Cruciatus curse and is failing. Lucius Malfoy is stuck doing community service at St. Mungo’s. He discovers Hermione in the throws of a seizure and does something about it. They establish a rapport of unique intimacy and friendship. Later, shared traumas forge a deeper bond.
Relationships: Hermione Granger & Lucius Malfoy, Hermione Granger/Lucius Malfoy
Comments: 24
Kudos: 100
Collections: Strictly Lumione Valentines Fest 2021





	1. Community Service Sucks

**Author's Note:**

> My first Lumione and my first smut scene - it took a village to get this uploaded on time!  
> Prompt 1: I'm in love with you, and it terrifies me!  
> Prompt 2: If I could, I would kiss away all your scars
> 
> Thank you so much to: TheVulgarBookworm, Emsallthat, motherbearof3, Youcanttouchthis, and special shout out to ElizColl for her help on the smut! These ladies were invaluable! I love you all! 
> 
> There will be a sequel (more smut, yay!) to this as I apparently cannot hit a deadline to save my life and I cut this story short.
> 
> The sequel will include a Valentine’s Day Gala.

Community service is asinine. _Why can’t I just write a check for a new wing of the hospital?_ Lucius Malfoy had just finished his last delivery in the maternity ward. _Flowers and balloons, balloons and flowers. “Congratulations on your new arrival. Here’s an acknowledgement of your baby from the Ministry.” Blah, blah, blah._ It could not get any worse. 

Lucius stopped at the nurse’s station to get his ID scanned. Three times a week he stopped at the gift shop, picked up the deliveries to the new mothers, dropped them off with the requisite cheer and good wishes through clenched teeth. His hours were then verified on a form which was sent to the Department of Justice and subtracted from the 5,000 hours of community service he had to perform. Five thousand hours to prove to the wizard community that he was repentant and deserved his early release from Azkaban and no house arrest. _Good. Only 4500 more hours to go._

Before she died, Narcissa made him promise that he would help the wizarding world recover from the war that he had a big hand in starting. To ease her mind, he swore that he would do everything he could to make a difference. But this? This was not what he had in mind. 

Sometimes the tasks were a little different. One week he was on the Janus Thickey Ward spending his time making sure people stayed in their rooms and didn’t wander into others as they were wont to do. Most of the people on that ward did not recognize him. He even had to separate Alice and Frank Longbottom once when Frank thought Alice was bossing him around and he wanted none of it. The Longbottoms just thought he was an aid sent to annoy them. These were the moments when he wished he had opted for house arrest. 

This maternity ward rigmarole was ridiculous. Any young girl needing volunteer hours could do what he was doing. If he had to do community service, he wanted to be doing something that fit his skillset. 

After he left the nurse’s station, he walked down the hallway to the lift. Belatedly, he realized he was in a lift going up, not down and he sighed, frustrated. The lift opened and he stepped out for a moment to wait for the next one to take him down to the lobby. While he was waiting he heard something coming from a room close by. He peeked in and saw a patient in the throes of some sort of seizure. He furrowed his brow and studied the shaking, spasming soul. Then he realized what was happening and rushed in. _This_ was something he knew how to fix.

Lucius took off his coat and made his way over to the other side of the bed and lowered the railing. He pulled the patient’s arms down and slid one of his arms under a shoulder, then placed his other arm around their waist and pulled the person almost up into a sitting position. Then he held them tightly. Just as he did this, a Medi-Witch ran in to see what was happening and stopped dead in her tracks.

“Mr. Malfoy, what on earth are you doing? You can’t be in here doing that!” She took another look at what was happening when she realized that the seizure had stopped. She looked at Lucius, awestruck. “Did you just stop her seizure?” She waved her wand over the patient's body, noting the statistics were moving back to normal.

“I did. She?” He looked at the form in the bed. He had been so concerned about stopping the seizure, he hadn’t paid attention to the actual person lying there. “The seizure she was suffering from was the result of being hit with multiple _Cruciatius_ curses. I recognized the signs from, well…” He hoped the Medi-Witch understood. When she didn’t, he forced himself to say, “from my own experiences.”

As he was speaking to her, he extricated himself from the patient and stood up alongside the bed. Once he was off the bed, the patient rolled on to her back and the Medi-Witch pushed her hair back from face. _It couldn’t be..._

“Miss Granger?” He looked at the Medi-Witch for confirmation. She nodded her head slowly. “Yes, Mr. Malfoy, Hermione has been here for several months. When she started having the seizures about a year ago, they were mild and infrequent. But they started ramping up in intensity and grew more frequent until she couldn’t work anymore for fear of having one on the job. She’s a Cursebreaker. She was living with Mr. Weasley and he was able to take care of her for a while, but then even he wasn’t able to stay with her 24/7, so he brought her here. She’s hardly ever awake, mostly sleeps and seizes. So what did you do that made the seizure stop? We’ve never been able to do that; we just have to restrain her and wait it out.”

As soon as she finished speaking, the Healer walked in. “Mr. Malfoy, what a pleasure. I’m Healer Parker. Were you here visiting Miss Granger?” He had an obsequious tone, the kind Lucius absolutely despised. _Toady. He’s probably trying to figure out if he can wheedle any galleons out of me._

 _“_ Actually, no. I was just waiting for the lift when I heard a commotion coming from here and peeked in to see Miss Granger experiencing a seizure. No one was coming to help her so I did," he said with a supercilious look. _Let’s see what you have to say now._

“Oh, Healer Parker, I saw Mr. Malfoy in here and he succeeded in stopping her seizure! It was amazing.” The Medi-Witch was looking at Lucius in awe.

“Indeed. And what did you do exactly? We haven’t been able to stop one of Miss Granger’s seizures the entire time she’s been here.” The Healer appeared to be skeptical.

“Well, I just reached under her with my arm and wrapped my other arm over her and held her very tightly. The seizure stopped. Do you need a demonstration?” Lucius could barely contain his sarcasm.

“Uh, no, not right now. I must ask, though, how you came by this method of arresting the seizure? It’s not in any medical book that I know of.”

“Of course not. If it had been, I’m sure you would have employed it yourself?” Not one to leave an opponent with the upper hand, Lucius tried to appear sincere. The Medi-Witch snorted ever so slightly. When both men looked at her, she blushed and started busying herself by the supply cabinet.

“No, I discovered it when I was trying to help my son through his...afflictions. This type of seizure is a result of overuse of the _Cruciatus_ curse. When Draco was in the midst of one he could be quite wild, almost to the point of violence. To try to keep him contained I merely did what I explained to you. I expected to hold him through the whole episode, but after no more than 30 seconds of holding him like that it stopped. I had the chance to test it many times with him. As time went on, his seizures began tapering off and losing intensity until he started going months without one.”

“Well, maybe you could teach some of the personnel here your method. We’ve definitely had our fill of patients suffering from the same malady.” The Healer looked at Lucius, the veiled jab not so veiled.

“I’m afraid I cannot. It appears that only someone who has also been _Crucio’ed_ multiple times is successful in arresting the seizures. I think something happened between Draco’s magical core and my magic that not only stopped them, but caused them to abate eventually. I’ve not been able to really test it. Until today, of course. I had no idea what would happen; I just recognized the problem and knew what I could do.”

“So, Mr. Malfoy, why are you here today? Were you visiting someone?” Healer Parker was fishing. He had an idea, but he wanted Lucius to have to say it.

“No.” Lucius answered reluctantly. “I, um…ahem...I’m here performing community service.” A flush began traveling from his neck up to his face. 

“Community service? Do you have a set project, or responsibility?” Parker’s wheels were turning now.

“No, I just check in and do whatever I’m assigned.” Lucius looked over at Hermione. “Tell me, Healer Parker, what is Miss Granger’s prognosis?” She looked peaceful now, a far cry from when he first saw her. A flicker of remorse crossed his face, but before he could hazard a guess why that was so, Parker answered him.

“Mr. Malfoy, we have no idea. Since we’ve never seen anything like this before we don’t even have a potion regimen for her. We’ve been feeling rather helpless. And it’s such a shame, she was such a bright witch, with so much going for her.” Parker tried to look sympathetic, although Lucius knew this was partly an act. _He wants something._

“Tell me, Mr. Malfoy, if I could get your community service switched, would you be willing to come here instead and work with Miss Granger to see if she could have the same success as your son? We could set up a schedule and you would have access to everything you think you might need.”

Lucius was caught between rock and a hard place. He wanted to continue his current schedule as much as he wanted to drive a spike between his eyes. But to help Hermione on a regular basis? He didn’t know if he could handle seeing her.... 

_This is because of Bellatrix. And me. And what happened at my home._ He looked at her more closely. She still had that massive quantity of hair, although it had been cut shorter than he remembered. Her face was not that of a 22-year-old girl with everything to look forward to. She had worry lines on her forehead and lines around her eyes and mouth. The circles under her eyes indicated that even if she was sleeping most of the time, it could not have been restful. _I wonder if she has nightmares in between the seizures, like Draco did._ A second glance made him think that she looked older and more careworn than Narcissa had in her last days. 

_Narcissa._ What would she think of all this? She had only vaguely known what was going on with Draco as she was suffering the same thing. Lucius tried to shield her from most of the unpleasantness, but she sensed something. Her views on purity of blood were much more in line with Draco’s when the war started and she would probably have enjoyed knowing Miss Granger. She was half convinced that Draco had a soft spot for her, even though he would never admit it. 

_She would want me to do this. Even if it was going to be difficult. She would have said that the punishment fit the crime, I’m sure. I cast aside my prejudices, and by immersing myself with Miss Granger, it will remain to be seen if I can remain true to that decision._

While he was mulling over the pros and cons, Hermione started to seize again. Healer Parker looked at him.

“Well, Mr. Malfoy, now is your chance to demonstrate your therapy. Let’s see what this miracle is all about.” He gestured to the bed and looked Lucius in the eye.

Lucius rolled his eyes, but acquiesced. He repeated what he had done earlier. He kept Hermione’s hands from flailing around, barely avoiding being hit in the mouth, and managed to slip his arm under and around her shoulders. His other arm wrapped around her waist and he held her tightly in that awkward position. Almost immediately, she calmed and relaxed. Once he was sure she was through it, he released her back to the bed.

Parker was stunned. Never had he seen anything happen so quickly. It was as if Lucius had pressed a magic button and all the struggle he had seen in Hermione’s face just disappeared along with the spasms.

“Mr. Malfoy, you must continue to aid Hermione.” His use of her first name was an indication of how completely thunderstruck he was. “If it is as you say, that the seizures might lessen to the point where she could function, then you can’t say no. Please.”

_Well, Narcissa, you’ve won. I’m not even going to bargain with him._

  
“Figure it out, Parker, and only tell those who need to know, and I’ll stay.” _He should have felt like he had just sold his soul to the devil. But no, he had already done that. This was different. This felt like atonement._


	2. Was That a Python Squeezing Me?

Hermione could feel the seizure coming on. Even asleep, her consciousness always knew when it was coming: she would feel a little flushed and geometric shapes would start flashing in her eyes. She knew it was coming, but she couldn’t do anything about it. It would start slowly, like a stutter, a tic in her arm, another in her cheek, a third in her leg. Then it ramped up and before she knew it she was writhing and shaking and banging her head back on the bed. She resigned herself to ride out the episode when all of a sudden, she felt something warm wrap around her shoulder and her waist and squeeze.  _ Whoever this is, they smell really good.  _ Slowly the shaking stopped and she began to relax. Whatever was wrapped around her loosened and she rolled on to her back. Slowly she opened her eyes.

What Hermione saw was something she never in a million years thought she would ever see again. And she thought she’d seen everything. Lucius Malfoy was backing away from the bed and moving back over to a chair. 

“Please tell me this is a bad use of Polyjuice, Harry.” She followed his movements as he sat down in the chair, crossed one leg over the other, grabbed his reading glasses and book and proceeded to read as if nothing happened.

“I hate to disappoint you, Miss Granger, but I am not your misguided friend, nor am I the product of Polyjuice.” He looked over his glasses at her.

If Hermione had been strong enough mentally or physically, she might have been alarmed. But, as she was neither, she merely lifted one eyebrow, waiting for an explanation.

When none was proffered, Hermione realized she was going to have to pull the story out of him like taffy. 

“Why are you here?” Question number one.

“I often spend time in the hospital visiting patients.” He doesn’t even look up from his book.

Hermione would have rolled her eyes if she’d had the strength.

“I meant, why are you in my room? I would think you wouldn’t walk within 10 meters of a ‘Mudblood’s’ room.” She should have been terrified by his presence, but she wasn’t. 

“Apparently you benefit from my presence. Or so they tell me. I’m not so sure it’s helping.”

“Why were you squeezing me?” Hermione shuddered at the realization that it was his arms wrapped around her.

“You’ll have to ask your healer.” 

“Mr. Malfoy…” Before she could get another word out the door opened. Healer Parker and a Medi-Witch entered the room and began to check her chart.

“Hermione, I’m so glad you are awake! How are you feeling? We came in to check your stats and talk with Mr. Malfoy.” 

“I think this is the most awake I’ve felt in a long time…” She broke off as Parker walked over to Lucius, ignoring her. 

“Well, Mr. Malfoy, with Miss Granger’s wakefulness, I feel as if we have reached a crossroads.” Parker looked at him expectantly.

“Addy, what is he talking about?” Hermione whispered to the Med-Witch as she took her blood pressure. 

“Mr. Malfoy has been helping you with your seizures. You’ve been improving tremendously. Yesterday you had half the number of episodes that you usually have.” The Medi-Witch glanced over at Lucius with something like adoration.

“Is that why he was squeezing me like a python during my seizure?” Even with more explanation, Hermione was only getting more confused.

“Yes, apparently, it has something to do with the  _ Cruciatus  _ curse and the seizures.” The Medi-Witch suddenly began to busy herself straightening Hermione’s bedclothes. “I shouldn’t say anymore. Healer Parker or Mr. Malfoy should be explaining.” 

“I won’t say anything. Thank you for the information, though.” Hermione closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep.

“I see from her chart that Miss Granger’s seizures have slowed considerably since you started your ‘therapy’. In the last three weeks, she’s gone from having 1-2 minute episodes to 30 second ones. When she has woken up she’s been alert and able to take some nutrition. That is a big improvement. How do you feel about it?” Healer Parker was brimming with excitement.

“I’m cautiously optimistic.” 

“Now, when she _ is _ awake, she is still pretty weak. And she is still only on clear liquids. I think we need to try to work towards fewer seizures and more awake time.” Parker flips through Hermione’s chart.

“Will my hours change due if they do lessen in frequency?” Lucius did not want to be reassigned to the maternity ward. He was pleased to be doing something less menial than walking from floor to floor with copies of _The Prophet_ to distribute. It was worth it, even if he was basically hugging a Muggleborn.

“Oh no, Mr. Malfoy. You will still have the same schedule, and we can reassess in a week or two. She’s making excellent progress.” Parker looked over at Hermione with something resembling pity and left the room.

Lucius waited for the healer to leave and stood up and walked over to the bed. He gazed down at her. He thought maybe he could see a slight difference in the tension in her face.


	3. Questions and Answers

“Why me?”

“Excuse me?”

“Why are you helping me?”

“You don’t want my assistance?”

“I didn’t say that. I’m just curious. Why me, Mr. Malfoy?” 

Hermione had woken up to find Lucius sitting in the chair by the window. She knew he was still helping her because she could instinctively tell when he had been with her during a seizure even if she wasn’t conscious. For some reason, though, he was always out of the room when she was awake. She wondered if it was coincidence or by design.

“I didn’t know it was you. I just happened to be walking by the room and heard a fracas. I looked in and knew immediately what was happening. I couldn’t ignore it. It wasn’t until the Medi-Witch came in and she started repositioning you that I realized who you were.”

“Oh.” Hermione thought for a moment. “Why didn’t you run screaming for the hills, then?”

“I thought about it,” Lucius admitted, sheepishly. “But, no one should have to suffer like that. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you believe.” 

Hermione thought about that for a moment and decided she did not have the energy to unpack that last statement. She filed it away for later examination. 

“How did you know what to do?”

“Draco.”

“Draco?” 

“He went through the same thing you are going through. He would flail around a lot and oftentimes I couldn’t get out of the way quickly enough. I began restraining him as soon as he started having a seizure, but physical restraints didn’t help, they just did more damage. Then, I read somewhere that when small children have tantrums that sometimes it helps to hold them tightly and let them work through it.”

“That’s a Muggle philosophy, you realize.” Hermione looked at him with a teasing glint. 

“Yes, well, when you are at wit’s end, you’ll try anything,” Lucius said, a little self-consciously. “Anyway, I tried it. I was only planning on holding him until he calmed somewhat, but instead, it completely ceased.” 

“So why hasn’t this method been employed at St. Mungo’s?”

“Apparently it only works if the person holding the patient has also suffered the effects of the  _ Cruciatus _ curse frequently and over a long period of time.” Lucius looked away, knowing the implication.

“How did you discover that?” Hermione’s interest was piqued.

“Draco tried it with Narcissa. It didn’t work.” He shifted uncomfortably in his chair. This was getting into dangerous territory. 

“Oh.” Hermione pulled back a little, letting the conversation sink in a little.  _ Draco benefitted, Narcissa didn’t. Why didn’t…? _

“Why didn’t I help Narcissa?” He said it a little more defensively than he meant to.

“I wasn’t going to ask.”

“But you were thinking it. I could tell.” Lucius put his elbows on his knees.

“Only if you want to answer.”

He hesitated. He had no inclination to bare his soul before this 22-year-old chit who had always bested his son. She had been a source of friction between them the whole time Draco was at Hogwarts. But again, that strange feeling to make some sort of amends to her was compelling.

“She refused. She saw how it would wear me out after a particularly difficult seizure with Draco and she refused to listen to me. Narcissa was very proud and above all, she was a mother. What mother would not do anything, even to the point of sacrifice?"

“She also had other...issues that compounded her problem. The Noble House of Black, because of all its inbreeding, had developed several congenital issues over the centuries. Most notably, a penchant for insanity, as we all saw with Bellatrix. But there were other physical maladies and one of them afflicted her. She had the Shaking Disease.”

Hermione understood immediately. “You mean Epilepsy. That’s the Muggle term for it. I can see how that would be a problem for anyone who had been  _ Crucio’d.” _

“Yes. And she ultimately succumbed to the disease.” Lucius was quiet, retrospective.

Hermione sat in the silence with him. 

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know...about Mrs. Malfoy or Draco. Please give Draco my best.”

Lucius looked down at the floor, not sure how to reply. He cleared his throat, ready to speak.

“Draco has….”

“He doesn’t know you’re doing this, does he?” 

“Well, he knows I have community service. I’d like to leave it at that.”

“So, tell me, Mr. Malfoy, are you really being altruistic or is there something you get out of this as well? I’m not complaining, of course, because without you, well....let’s just say that I wouldn’t be talking to you or anyone right now if you hadn’t come in here that day. You don’t strike me as a man who would do this out of the goodness of your heart without expecting something in return.”

“Besides my required community service hours?” He took note of Hermione’s expression. “Ah, I see you are surprised. In addition to my time in Azkaban, I have 5,000 community service hours to accumulate in 5 years. But, no. No one knows I’m doing this.” He gestures towards her. “There’s no upside to making this public. The good people rejoice, for they hear that you are improving, but they will not be privy to the details. And I have no intention of connecting my name to yours, and I would hope you wouldn’t either. Plus…” He trailed off.

“Plus, what? Come, Mr. Malfoy, you asked me for honesty.”

Lucius sighed. “While there are quite a few people suffering long-lasting effects from the curse, there are very few people who can help them. Anyone who could help is either in prison or dead.”


	4. The Cavalry Arrives

Lucius didn’t stay with Hermione all the time. He left occasionally to attend to his business and home. He had told Healer Parker that he wasn’t there for every seizure that Draco had; apparently progress was progress and not one step forward, two steps back if Lucius couldn’t take control of every episode. So when a business emergency arose that meant Lucius would have to leave the country for a short period of time, Healer Parker signed off on it. He told Lucius that they would monitor Hermione and take care of her. 

The second night he was gone, Hermione had one of the worst seizures she’d ever had. No one could get close to her. They couldn’t force a potion down her throat without losing half of it. She was still writhing in agony when Parker ordered the Medi-Witch to restrain her. She grabbed one hand and managed to wandlessly place the strap around her wrist. Hermione had so much strength in her other arm that it took both Parker and Addy to get that one under control and strapped down. She still arched and kicked and shook. 

After about 15 minutes, Parker was at his wit’s end and told the Medi-Witch he was going to have to send Lucius a patronus. He left the room and came back a few minutes later only to see no change in Hermione. He was really beginning to worry when he noticed that her wrists were beginning to chafe and bleed from the restraints. 

“I hope he arrives soon. I have no idea where he will be coming from. If this continues indefinitely...” Parker ran his hands through his hair repeatedly and paced, openly showing his stress. “Malfoy is going to be livid. But there was nothing else we could do. Right, Addy?” He looked to his Medi-Witch for confirmation.

“No, of course not, Healer,” Addy replied nervously. She kept looking outside the room, scouring the hallway for any sign of Mr. Malfoy. Finally, she heard loud voices coming from the lift and she breathed a sigh of relief. “He’s here, Healer!”

One loud voice and one very placating, fearful one. They rounded the nurse’s station, Lucius flying down the hall like an avenging angel, cloak billing out behind him, cane thumping on the ground. Once the head nurse saw Parker standing outside Hermione’s door, she threw up her hands, saying, “He’s all yours! I wash my hands of him!” and turned around, walking the other way.

“Parker, what in Merlin’s name is going on!?” Lucius was seething and not being very quiet about it. “How long has she been like this? Why didn’t you call me right away?” He didn’t wait for an answer as he threw off his cloak and plowed a path between the two medical professionals straight to the bed. He didn’t think he could be any more furious until he saw her, bleeding from the restraints and blood starting to drip from her nose. He stopped short, dismayed at the scene before him.

“Mr. Malfoy,” Parker decided it would be better to treat him formally. “She has been doing so well. We really thought it would only be a few minutes, like the others have been since you left. This really is out of the ordinary.”

“Nothing about this is ordinary, Parker.” Lucius quickly vanished the restraint on one side, lowered the rail and crawled into the bed next to Hermione. He barely managed to get her arm down without being decked and quickly wrapped his arms around her and laid next to her.

“Hermione, you can relax now,” Lucius whispered in her ear. He looked at Parker and gestured to the other restraint. Parker vanished it and Lucius quickly enclosed her arm with his and tightened his grip.

Slowly, much more slowly than other episodes, the spasms began to abate. He kept his grip on her for several minutes after she had completely stopped and it was obvious that she was sleeping. He didn’t let go of her right away, just eased up the tension in his arms. The medical personnel had been coming and going, just waiting for him to release her arms so they could tend to her wrists. 

“What possessed you to restrain her?” Lucius was still incensed. “You knew that wouldn't work and can actually cause more problems, as you can obviously see.” He was fairly dripping with sarcasm. 

“Well, we had to do something, she was a danger to herself and others!” Parker said, very defensively. “She could have thrown herself out of the bed; she could have inflicted physical damage on anyone who tried to help her. It was extremely difficult to even get the restraints on her.” 

They finished bandaging Hermione’s wrists, cleaned the blood off her face, and wiped the perspiration from her chest. The Medi-Witch knew she would eventually have to change her gown as she was soaked through.

Lucius finally unwound himself from Hermione and gently laid her down on the bed. He tried to brush himself off and grimaced. His cuffs were spotted with blood and his shirt and waistcoat were damp with her sweat. _Well, it is a good thing I’ve adjusted my views on blood purity._

“Mr. Malfoy, I’ll get you some scrubs and you can clean up in the bathroom,” Addy hurriedly offered when she saw his look of disgust. 

“Thank you,” Lucius graciously nodded towards Addy. She left the room in search of the requisite garments.

“Parker. It is obvious to me that you do not have the ability to do much more than maintain your patients, let alone heal them. I think you and your staff are woefully inadequate in taking care of patients that fall outside your realm of experience. There is no research facility equipped to develop therapies and make them available to other sufferers. Your potion labs are inefficient and your equipment is out of date. Apparently being the only hospital for the magical community has led you to sit on your wilting laurels and offer only marginal services.”

Healer Parker stood at Hermione’s bedside, barely containing his anger. The worst part about having to listen to Malfoy rip apart his facility was that he was absolutely correct. But not for the reasons Malfoy assumed. He had been hoping to engage Malfoy in a discussion about additional funds; maybe this most recent predicament was actually a blessing...

“Mr. Malfoy, you are unfortunately correct. But it’s not because we are lazy, it is due to the fact that the Ministry did not see it necessary to increase our funding after the war. St. Mungo’s has been overburdened with many long-term, chronic cases as a result of the Wizarding War. We have patients for whom therapies are non-existent because their maladies are new. Hermione is a case in point. You know that she needs special help that only you can give. If we had sufficient funds, we could employ more staff, upgrade our equipment and improve our labs.”

While Healer Parker was speaking, Addy returned with a set of scrubs for Lucius. 

“While I change, please get her ready for transport. She is coming home with me where I can continue her therapies because your hospital is not up to the task.” Lucius disappeared into the restroom within the room.

Healer Parker’s mouth opened in protest, then shut in anger. He was not ready to release Hermione at all. Her improvement was being tracked by _The Daily Prophet_ and it was providing the hospital with good publicity. If he relinquished her to Lucius, all that good press would disappear. Unless...

Addy took the opportunity to change Hermione out of her hospital gown and remove the sheets. Hermione did not stir the entire time. 

“Healer Parker, she is much warmer than she has been. I think she has a fever.” Addy took out her wand and waved it over Hermione’s body. “Her temperature is 101. Should you let her leave?” 

“I do not care if her temperature is 104. She is leaving with me tonight.” Lucius stepped back into the room looking very much like a Healer just out of surgery. 

“Mr. Malfoy, you realize once you leave with her, we will no longer be able to track your community service hours.” Parker was ready to make his demands.

Lucius crossed his arms and raised one eyebrow. “You want something.” He knew how this worked. 

“In exchange for taking Miss Granger with you and continuing to count your community service hours, you will help us improve the hospital by running a capital campaign. With the galleons you raise, we could implement all of your suggested improvements.” When he finished, he crossed his arms triumphantly, confident he had Malfoy right where he wanted him.

Lucius considered the proposition for a moment. _If I delay just long enough, Parker will throw something else in to guarantee my support. Wait for it..._

Thinking Lucius’ delay meant he was going to reject it, Parker sweetened the deal.

“And I would give you complete control over the acquisition of whatever is needed for said improvements.”

 _And there it is._ “I will take you up on your offer. After Miss Granger is home and stabilized I will owl you for a formal meeting to discuss your needs. Now, is she ready to go? I’ll have to floo with her; obviously she cannot Apparate.”

Parker nodded and turned to his Medi-Witch. “Addy, is she ready? I will send her with a supply of potions that you can give her for pain and nausea. Also something for her sleep. She continues to have nightmares on a fairly regular basis and when she wakes up she fights going back to sleep.” Parker took the supplies from Addy and handed them to Lucius.

Lucius put his cloak on over his scrubs. He gathered Hermione into his arms and made his way to the lift. 

“The floo is on the 2nd floor, remember?” All of a sudden Parker was being very solicitous. “I’ll walk you there.”

When they reached the floo, Parker gathered some powder and once Lucius was inside, he threw the powder into the air over his head as Lucius said, “Malfoy Manor, second floor.” They disappeared.

\--

Once Lucius stepped out of the floo on the second floor of the Manor he walked directly to a bedroom suite connected to his. It had been Narcissa’s, but he had had the décor changed after she died. It was spacious; a large canopy bed jutted out from the wall. There were multiple pillows and a large fluffy duvet covering a high grade mattress. On another wall was a large fireplace, its large carved walnut mantel matched the headboard of the bed. The hearth was green marble and marble surrounded the opening. An overstuffed armchair and ottoman were placed close to the fireplace. There was a set of French doors leading out to a balcony that overlooked the south garden. Two more doors led to the bath and the closet. 

“Kali!” Before the word was completely out of his mouth there was the _CRACK!_ of Apparation and a young house-elf appeared before Lucius. 

“Master Malfoy, yous needs me?” Kali was wearing a flowered pillow case that was covered with an Alice in Wonderland pinafore.

“Yes, Kali. Please turn down the covers so that I am able to lay Miss Granger down.” 

Kali immediately moved to the bed and pulled the covers down with her wand. She rearranged the pillows so that there were only a few left on the bed, the rest were vanished from the room. 

Lucius placed Hermione gently on the bed. Kali immediately covered her up with the duvet. 

“Master, is she ill, or just weary?” Kali looked at Hermione with tenderness and reached out to cup her cheek with her hand. “She feels warm.”

“Yes, she is very ill. Do you remember when Draco was ill last year?” Kali nodded.

“Oh, yes Master, he was very sick. Is Miss having the same problems? Does Master squeeze Miss like Master Draco?” Kali looked up at Lucius with big brown questioning eyes.

“Yes. I will need you to stay with her all the time so that you can let me know immediately if she has a seizure. She was doing well at the hospital until tonight.” Lucius picked up Hermione’s wrist and showed it to Kali.

“Oh, Master, she was tied, she was?” Her eyes filled with tears.

“Kali, do not upset yourself. We have bandaged her injuries and rest assured, it will not happen again. First, however, we need to get her fever down. I have a supply of potions from the hospital that you can use when she needs them. I know you remember what Master Draco needed and I trust you to give them to her as you see fit. See what you can do to heal her wrists, too.” Lucius had relied on his little house elf heavily during Draco’s seizures and she had not failed him. He knew that she would be vigilant and alert him right away of any problems.

“Oh Master, I will not take my eyes off of Miss...what is her name?” 

“Granger. But you may call her Miss Hermione.” He looked pointedly at Kali as her eyes widened when she heard the name ‘Granger.’ “Yes, I knew you would remember her from...before. That is why we are going to give her the best care.”

“Of course, Master. I dids not mean...” Lucius cut her off.

“Kali, it is all right. You do not offend me. I know what happened to her was ghastly and I have been trying to rectify it since I discovered her in the hospital. Now, let us give her the fever-reducing potion and make sure she is comfortable. You may sleep on the chair by the fire if you would like. If she goes into a seizure, I expect you to Apparate to me immediately, no matter what time it is.”

“Yes, Master Malfoy. I be right here, watching her.” She took the potion from Lucius and hopped on the bed next to Hermione. “Come, Little Miss, open up so's you can have a potion.” Kali spelled Hermione’s mouth open and poured the potion down her throat. “Good girl, Miss Hermione. Me and Master Malfoy will make you better.”

“Kali, please call me Mr. Lucius. I am not your master anymore, you know that.” Lucius admonished Kali with a smile.

“I’s sorry Master...Mr. Lucius. I keeps forgetting.” Kali blushed to the tips of her ears.

“I understand. Now I am quite fatigued. I am going to bed and will see you in the morning and hopefully not before.” Lucius started for the door.

“Mr. Lucius?” Lucius stopped and turned to Kali. “Thank yous for trusting Kali. I do my best.”

“I know, Kali. I know.” With that Lucius left the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

Kali, still on the bed next to Hermione, laid down on top of the duvet and curled up next to her. She summoned the throw from the chair and covered herself up with it.

“Miss Hermione, Kali and Mr. Lucius will make you good again.” Kali relaxed and closed her eyes.


	5. We’re Not In St. Mungo’s Anymore: It’s Too Comfortable

Hermione knew something was different. The bed felt different, like she was lying on a cloud. The sun was in a different place, too. Brighter, but softer at the same time. She reached out from underneath the covers and felt the fabric.  _ This is not hospital issue. Where am I? _

She started to roll onto her back and realized there was a lump next to her. She looked over and saw a small house-elf curled up on top of the covers, snoring lightly.  _ No, definitely not the hospital. _

Intrigued, she began to look around the room. She could see a fire going in the massive fireplace across the room.  _ My entire flat could fit in this room. _

Her eyes wandered back to the source of the sun. She noticed the French doors that she guessed led out to a balcony.  _ I don’t think I’m in the city.  _

Then she heard two very loud squawks coming from somewhere just outside her window.  _ OK. I’m definitely not in the city. _

As her head cleared and she started to add everything up. The only other time she had been in a room this opulent was...  _ Oh, shit, I’m at Malfoy Manor!  _ She wasn’t quite sure how she felt about that and her heart started to flutter in panic.

Looking back at the house-elf, she gently shook her shoulder. 

“Excuse me...miss?”  _ What did one call a house-elf when one didn't know their name? _

Immediately, the elf’s eyes popped open and she jumped up, startling Hermione.

“Oh, Miss Hermione! I’s so sorry! I should have waked before yous! Oh dear! Mr Lucius will...”

She was cut off by a finger on her lips.

“Sh..sh...What Mr. Lucius doesn’t know won’t hurt him. What is your name?” Hermione stroked the elf’s shoulder in an effort to calm her down.

“I’s Kali, Miss Hermione. I belong...er... I work for Mr. Lucius. He wants Kali to look after you. I’s s’posed to tell him yous awake.” Kali started to get off the bed but Hermione stopped her.

“Kali, is it?” The elf nodded. “That’s a very pretty name. Well, Kali, let’s not tell Mr. Lucius that I’m awake just yet, shall we?” Hermione looked at Kali conspiratorially. “So, where am I? And how long have I been here?” She didn’t remember anything after they had restrained her wrists at the hospital, but she guessed Lucius had come back early from his trip.

“Yous at Malfoy Manor, Miss Hermione. Mr. Lucius brought you home last evening. He says yous has the same sick as Master Draco and he been squeezing you to help. I help Master Draco, too, so Mr. Lucius ask me to help yous. I tell Mr. Lucius when you shake like Master Draco.” Kali appeared to have calmed down sufficiently.

“Mr. Lucius is right, I am sick like Draco was. But, thanks to him, I’m getting better. I wonder why he took me out of the hospital. Did something happen?” Hermione looked down at her wrists and realization dawned. “He didn’t like that they restrained me, did they?”

“Mr. Lucius always said Master Draco worse if hands were tied. Kali s’posed to heal you, but I wait til you waked.” Kali reached over and gently took Hermione’s right hand and unwrapped the bandage. She murmured a spell and Hermione could feel her wrist tingling. When the elf was done, her wrist was free of any wound. Kali repeated the spell with her left hand and the same thing happened.

“There. All better?” Kali looked at Hermione, hopeful. 

“All better. Thank you so very much, Kali. Now, I guess you had better tell Mr. Lucius I am awake.” With that, Kali hopped off the bed and Apparated with a pop.

Hermione took the time to close her eyes briefly. She was tiring out, but she needed to stay awake long enough to talk to Lucius and find out what happened.

There was a quiet knock on the door and after Hermione said “Come in” it opened a crack. Lucius opened it wider to let Kali through, but he just stayed in the doorway evaluating the situation.

“Mr. Malfoy. What have you done with me? The last thing I remember is being restrained and seizing and then next thing I know I wake up on a cloud. You really should tell St. Mungo’s they must switch to these linens. Please, come all the way in.” She gestured to her bedside. 

Lucius walked into the room. He summoned a chair next to her bed and sat.

“Miss Granger, you are feeling better, I take it?” Lucius immediately noticed Hermione’s pallor was better. Not the healthy pink it should be, but not the ghastly gray he had seen at the hospital.  _ Or maybe it was just the hospital lighting.  _ She nodded.

“Too soon to tell. But I am glad to be away from that dingy hospital. Merlin, they need to brighten the place up a bit.” 

Lucius took in what she was saying, but just nodded to show he was listening. He ventured no further comment. 

“I’m liable to fall asleep if you sit there in silence, you know. Please fill me in.”

Lucius crossed one leg over the other and settled in. He recounted the previous evening and how he more or less kidnapped her and floo’d to the Manor. He did not tell her about the deal he struck with Parker. That would remain anonymous. When he was finished, she could barely keep her eyes open. 

“Well, there you have it, Miss Granger.” He stood up. “I can tell I am putting you to sleep, so I shall leave. Kali will take care of you and alert me when you have a seizure.”

Hermione yawned. “Wait, I have one more question.”

“Yes?”

“What is that terrible squawking outside?”

Lucius cracked a small smile. “Peacocks, Miss Granger. Albino peacocks. Very rare.”

“And very noisy.” Before Lucius could retort, Hermione was dead asleep. He turned to Kali. 

“Well, Kali, it seems I have bored her to sleep. Call me if you need anything.”

Yes, Mast...Mr. Malfoy. I needs go to my room for a minute? I stay here so I bring things to be at home?” She looked down at the floor, nervous for his response.

“Alright, Kali, but only on one condition.” Lucius tried to look stern but softened when she, as a result, looked terrified.

“Yes, sir?” 

“I do not want you to be afraid to look at me when you have a request. You are very important to me, Kali. Without your help, Draco would not have recovered. I will not forget that. You may have anything you want to bring in here. And if it is something you don’t have, just ask me for it.” He sank down on his haunches and lifted her chin so she could look at him. “Alright?” 

Kali nodded. “Yes sir. I’s sorry, sir.” Lucius rolled his eyes.  _ It was so much easier when I didn’t care about their feelings.  _ He straightened up and left the room. Kali checked to see that Hermione was indeed asleep and Apparated out. 


	6. Invite Me To Your Library and You Can Call Me By My Name

Hermione’s life settled into a routine. She was able to get out of bed and use the bathroom, but no one would let bathe herself and she couldn’t stand for a shower. There was too much risk for a seizure. She began taking more solid food and was awake for longer periods of time. After about 2 weeks at the Manor, she asked Kali if she could bring her a book.

Initially, Lucius was only around when she had a seizure. If Hermione was awake she could tell when a seizure was coming on so she was able to alert Kali who would Apparate to wherever Lucius happened to be. When Hermione was awake, Lucius’ therapy was awkward to say the least. He was starting at the very beginning of the episode, when Hermione was more likely to be alert; in time she learned what the complete process was. The first time it happened, they were like a couple after their first date trying to figure out a goodnight kiss. When it ended, Lucius shot off the bed after he let her go and Hermione pretended to be asleep, although the blush on her face said otherwise.

Because the bed was larger than the hospital bed, Lucius could no longer just lean over the bed and perform the therapy. He had two options - either crawl on the bed on his knees and pull her up to a sitting position or lay down on the bed behind her and wrap his arms around her while she was lying there. Being on his knees worked well until she had a particularly violent episode. 

When it started, it was early evening and Hermione had been napping after her dinner. Kali was sitting next to her knitting hats for the other house-elves when she felt the first spasms start. She Apparated to Lucius who was in his study.

“Mr. Lucius, come!” That was all she had to say and Lucius came out from behind his desk and grabbed Kali’s arm. With a Pop! they were in Hermione’s room and she was deep into the seizure. Lucius got on the bed and crawled up to the head. He tried to pull Hermione into his arms but she kept evading him.

“Kali, I need your help. Can you go to the other side of the bed and try to grab her arm? I can't secure it and she’s going to end up hitting one of us.” 

He just barely managed to maintain control of her other arm while Kali crawled up and with the timing of a trapeze artist made contact with Hermione’s hand and held on for dear life. She had to stand to do it, but she managed to pull it down enough that Lucius could then move it to her side and wrap his arm around her waist. 

“Thank you. Having someone facing her is a definite advantage. Be ready with some water and a towel for her, please.” Kali Apparated out of the room.

The seizure did not abate right away like it usually would. Lucius had to use practically all his strength to not let go of her. _I feel like I’m riding a very angry dragon._ He could feel his magical core pushing the magic out to her through his arms and she was resisting it with everything she had. Just when he thought she might be starting to settle, one big spasm hit and she threw back her head and arched her back. Her head hit Lucius square in the mouth and the force of the spasm knocked them both towards the foot of the bed, laying on their sides. He continued to wrestle with her, eventually resorting to vocal encouragement.

“Hermione, if you can, take some deep breaths; it might help.” He couldn’t see her face, but he could imagine her response. _And how do you propose I do that? I can’t even keep my balance and I am worried about biting my tongue. Breathing? Hah!_

Lucius smirked at the thought. He kept his arms tight around her and positioned his mouth right by her ear. “I know what you are thinking. ‘One thing at a time, Mr. Malfoy, I’m trying not to bite my tongue.’” He swore he could feel her chuckle under the shaking.

Not long after, she started to settle and the spasms began to ease. He could tell she was trying to take some deep breaths and it was helping. A few minutes later he felt that it was all right to relax and loosen his arms a bit. 

“Well, that was...something,” Hermione was out of breath.

Lucius managed to peer over her shoulder and see her face. 

“You’re awake. I think this is the first time that has happened. How do you feel?” He continued to loosen his grip. It always took him some time to get the blood in his arms circulating. Once he separated himself from Hermione, he situated his body so that he was leaning against the headboard. 

“Like I was in a bouncy house at some kid’s birthday party. Wait, check that. I think I _was_ the bouncy house.”

“A what...a bouncy house?” Lucius wasn’t sure he’d heard her right.

“Yeah, it’s a big inflated thing that kids climb inside and bounce around in.” She looked at Lucius for his reaction. Seeing his continued confusion, she said, “It’s a Muggle thing.” She looked more closely at his mouth. “Did I do that?” She pointed to his lip, swollen and bleeding.

Lucius put his hand to his mouth and winced. Seeing the blood he took his wand and healed it. 

“It’s not like it hasn’t happened before. I’m used to it.”

“I’m sorry. And I’m sorry for every other time I’ve done that to you, too.” 

“Apology accepted.” 

After the seizure, she ended up with her head at the foot of the bed. She rolled over on her back and propped her feet on the headboard.

“You know that is19th century solid walnut your feet are on.” Lucius was only half-heartedly scolding her. 

“I just came down from a seizure that I was entirely conscious for. I don’t think your walnut headboard will be traumatized if I stretch my post-convulsion feet for a minute.” In spite of her cheeky comeback, Hermione was really exhausted.

Kali was shocked to see their positions on the bed when she had reentered the room. She heard their repartee and smiled to herself. _This be what Mr. Lucius need._

“Miss Hermione, let me wipe yous face, yous more sweaty this time.” Kali crawled on the other side of the bed, and started washing her face. She was very gentle, wiping one side, then the other, and finally her forehead. Hermione closed her eyes and smiled contentedly.

“So, this is what you both do for me? I never realized what it took.” She looked at both Lucius and Kali. “Thank you.”

Lucius, feeling a little self-conscious, tried to brush off the compliment. Kali, on the other hand, smiled beatifically and her eyes misted. “Miss Hermione, it be no trouble. I remember Master Draco, he was bad. I don’ want yous to be hurting, like him. I like yous and want to help.” 

Hermione took Kali’s hand and squeezed it. After hearing Kali’s heartfelt declaration, Lucius cleared his throat. 

“I told you in the hospital that I didn’t think anyone should have to experience what you’ve been going through. And if I thought I could aid in some way, I would do my best to help. Now, I think you need to rest.” Lucius moved off the bed and straightened his shirt and ran a hand through his hair to make sure it was in place. “I know this was a particularly stressful episode. Even I am a little weary after this. Let me know if you need anything.” 

“Mr. Lucius, Miss Hermione is asleep.” Kali shrugged and pointed to Hermione, fast asleep where she lay.

Lucius turned from the door and looked over at the bed. His face softened as he watched Hermione sleep peacefully. _Sleep well, Miss Granger._

\--

One day, not long after the strong seizure, Lucius knocked on her door.

“Kali, you know you... Oh, Mr. Malfoy, this is a surprise. I feel like I should be in the throes of an episode.” Hermione couldn’t help poke a little fun at her situation. And this was indeed the first time Lucius had entered her room looking relaxed, not like he was running to a fire.

“Miss Granger, Kali told me the other day you asked her for a book to read.”

Kali’s ears perked up as soon as she heard her name. She froze in place hoping that if she didn’t move, maybe no one would notice her.

“Why, yes I did. I was thinking that with being more awake, I might try to read a little. I don’t know how easy it will be or if reading might even trigger a seizure, but I’m getting a little restless.” 

“Do you feel up to a bit of a walk. I’m not sure Apparation is a good idea yet.” 

“I think so. But…” she looked down at her nightgown. “Uh….” Her cheeks flamed.

Kali jumped off the bed saying, “Just one minute, Miss Hermione. Kali has a robe for yous to wear. It is for when yous get tireds of being in bed.” She flung open the door to the wardrobe and pulled out a soft pink robe with little flowers on it. “Here yous go.”

Hermione took the robe from Kali and put it on. It fit perfectly. 

“Thank you so much, Kali. That was very thoughtful.”

“Oh, Miss Hermione, that was not Kali, that was Mr. Lucius. He put clothes in hanging space after yous came to the Manor.”

Now it was time for Lucius’ face to redden. “Well, let’s go then.” Hermione tightened her sash and took his proffered arm.

Thirty minutes and two rest breaks later, Lucius and Hermione arrived in front of a huge set of double doors. Wordlessly, Lucius spelled the doors to open and guided his charge into the largest library she had ever seen. He walked her to the middle of the circular two-story room and backed away so she could take in everything.

Hermione was awestruck. It was the biggest library she had ever seen; the stacks seemed endless. Across from where she was standing, between two huge leaded glass windows, was a massive fireplace, similar to those in the great halls of medieval castles. In front of it and scattered throughout were club chairs, arm chairs, sofas and tables. The lighting was natural at the moment: skylights let in the sun and at that time of day the room felt like a conservatory rather than a dark stuffy library. She spun around and made herself dizzy in the process.

“Oh, Mr. Malfoy.” Lucius had succeeded in making her speechless. He stood by the doors and watched her reaction as she started to inspect a shelf. 

“The Malfoy Library is the biggest library in Britain and one of the most extensive in the world. I thought you might be interested in seeing it.” His pride was evident.

“When I asked Kali for something to read, I was thinking you might have some back issues of _The Daily Prophet_ . I never expected you would show me this. May I?” She pointed to a leather-bound first edition of _A Winter’s Tale._

“The library and its contents are at your disposal, Miss Granger. However...” he stopped when he saw Hermione’s face fall, “...all I ask is that Kali or I are with you coming and going. Once you are safely ensconced, you may have privacy. If you should feel a seizure coming, this bell will summon one or both of us.” Lucius handed her a tiny silver bell. She held it in the palm of her hand. “Keep it with you at all times, please.”

“Of course. This is truly...all of this is truly extraordinary. I think you will find me here most of the time from now on.” She could not get over how astonishingly beautiful the space was.

“I see you picked a copy of _A Winter’s Tale._ Might I hazard a guess as to why?” Lucius had a bit of mischief in his eyes. 

“Yes?” She was pretty sure he knew the reason, but she wanted to hear him say it.

“The queen’s name is Hermione.”

“My mother was particularly fond of the Queen of Sicily.” Hermione’s face clouded with the memory.

She shook it off quickly and, in a sudden burst of courage, walked over to Lucius and threw her arms around his neck. “Thank you so much.”

Lucius was flabbergasted and for a moment did not know what to do. He caught Kali’s eye as she was gesticulating for him to hug her back and slowly, he did. _Why should I need of how to hug? someone? I've had my arms around her more than Narcissa._ “Miss Granger, you are most welcome.”

Hermione pulled back from him, slightly embarrassed. “I think you should start calling me Hermione. After all, you know more about my health than my doctor.” 

“Then I suppose it would be appropriate for you to call me Lucius. After all, you are the only person besides myself to even visit the Manor in four years, and,” he gestured towards Kali, “you have your own house-elf.”


	7. Rush to Judgment

“Hermione, have you heard this recording of _Aida_? It is simply spectacular. I was actually present for this production.” Lucius is waving his wand at a small box on the table. 

“No, but I love _La Traviata_ . All of Verdi’s operas are magnificent, but _La Traviata_ is my favorite. It is so unfair that Violetta not only doesn’t get Alfredo, because of his father, but she dies at the end.” She walks over to where Lucius is standing.

“Ah, but in this one the two main singers are entombed and die together. Surely this would appeal to your dramatic sensibilities. Listen.” The music starts and Lucius appears entranced. Hermione is not sure she has ever seen so much expression on his face. _He is certainly a man of many layers. I can’t imagine it was easy hiding all of them from Voldemort._

True to her prediction, Hermione did spend most of her time and many of her meals in the library. Under Lucius’ direction, the house-elves moved in a small bed for her to use for any potential episodes. The episodes were declining rapidly; she only had a couple in the library in the first few weeks after Lucius had shown it to her. They were much milder and she had not had a violent one since that night. Still, she was weak and tired and slept much of the time. 

Lucius had begun joining Hermione in the library in the afternoons as it was easier than making the long trip back upstairs. After his trip out of the country, his workload had lightened up and his schedule became fairly flexible. At first, he only came in to read the papers, but eventually Hermione engaged him in conversation. They soon discovered that they shared an admiration of Shakespeare, architecture, Italian opera and history. Soon, they began exchanging books on those subjects, listened to a plethora of Verdi operas and debated history. 

They listened to the opera in its entirety. By the end, Hermione was in tears. Lucius wasn’t going to let that go unnoticed.

“I knew this would appeal to your emotional nature. Can you imagine seeing it in person?”

“No, I can’t,” Hermione said between sniffles. Lucius pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her.

“Here, don’t drip on the table.” She took it and blew her nose. Once she regained her composure, she tried to give the cloth back to Lucius. He stopped her with a look of disgust.

“Keep it, it’s yours now.” His face slipped back into the stone-faced Pure-blood façade that made her feel like she was back in second year and facing him for the first time at Flourish and Blotts.

Hermione looked at the handkerchief and back at Lucius. All of a sudden she realized that, while their acquaintance had deepened into something close to friendship, he did not forget who, or what, she was. She stood up and started to leave the library.

“Where are you going?” Lucius stopped her before she reached the doors.

“I was going to find Kali… I mean, I was going to ask...” Unable to hide her dismay, she sighed. “This will always be between us, won’t it? You are a Pure-blood and I’m Muggle-born. And once I’m healthy enough to return home, we won’t need to see each other ever again.”

“Hermione, I didn’t mean...you don’t understand, it was a reflex. I most certainly didn’t mean it.” Lucius, too, was searching for the right words. 

“No, I understand perfectly. I’m going back up to my room. You don’t have to escort me.” She opened the doors and quietly left. Lucius stood in the middle of the library, unsure of what to do. _Fuck,_ __I hope I haven’t done something irreparable. She can’t think it was anything other than a reflex. Merlin, I’ve been holding her in my arms for months now; she’s sw_ eated and drooled on me and never once did it occur to me to be disgusted. Why would she think it meant anything? _

Hermione did not go back to her room. She wandered around the first floor, pretty sure she knew her way around. Kali had given her a tour shortly after Lucius had shown her the library. The house-elf had pointed out each room and given her a little history about it. She was able to snap her fingers at the portraits, so they would refrain from insulting Hermione. She had shown her a shortcut to the kitchen, which was where she thought she was headed.

It did not take long for her to realize she had taken a wrong turn. The hallway became darker; sconces were lit in this section and the portraits were vociferously and vocally opposed to her presence. She didn’t realize how hostile they could be and it unnerved her. She started walking faster, trying to find a quieter corridor when she came to the end of the hall. Instead of quieting down, the portraits’ increased their intensity to the point that she opened one of the double doors and rushed in just to escape them. She slammed the door shut and rested her forehead against it while she caught her breath. 

Once she felt calmer, she turned around to see where she was. What she saw made her heart stop. It was the drawing room. 

She froze in place. She didn’t want to venture back into the chaos in the hallway; no, she would just wait and have Kali help her find her way back. She took a couple of steps into the room and was able to look around. Sheets had been thrown over all the furniture, the fireplace was dirty and cold, and there were no lights, just whatever natural light came in through the skylight that made up most of the impossibly high ceiling. She took all this in as she walked towards the center of the room. It was as if a magnet was pulling her to the center of the room. She began to look at the floor and it wasn’t long before she saw it. 

Blood on the floor, stained permanently into the wood. Her blood. The spot where Bellatrix had taken her down and tortured her. The spot where _she_ had carved ‘MUDBLOOD’ into her arm. Unconsciously, Hermione rubbed her right forearm, remembering how it felt when Bellatrix had begun carving her skin. 

As her eye was drawn to the floor, Hermione was transported back to that night when they had been brought in by the Snatchers. She could almost smell the rotten breath of Greyback, the triumphant sweat of Scabior, who was so sure that he was going to be rewarded. She could hear Bella’s insane cackle and Ron’s screams to let her go, to take him instead. She saw Draco and Narcissa in the corner of the room trying to hide their disgust. At first she thought their disgust was aimed at her, for being a Muggle-born. Now as she looked back, she could tell they were focused on Bellatrix, and what she was doing to her. 

And then she saw Lucius. He was in terrible shape, unshaven, hair hanging down limply, with clothes that looked like they had been slept in. He was stone-faced, just as he had been earlier in the library, but now she knew him well enough to know that his eyes told the full story. They were grey, stormy and big. Instead of being dilated, his pupils were pinpricks, as if they were trying to block out what he was seeing. He was wild-eyed, trying to look everywhere but at what was happening in his drawing room, in his home. He was very much distressed, to the point of being panic-stricken. But he did not move. He didn’t try to stop Bella. 

She could tell that he wanted to. Stop her. But, he was rooted in the spot where he had begged Draco to identify Harry. He was paralyzed by fear. This was his last chance to redeem himself in his eyes and he was waging a battle with himself. And she knew who the victor would be.

She felt the tingling in her arms and rang the bell seconds before she hit the ground.


	8. New Perspectives Call For Reassessments

Lucius was still standing in the library trying to figure out how to rectify his egregious error. He realized the only thing he could do was the one thing he should have done the first time he saw her in St. Mungo’s. Before he could call Kali, Kali rushed in the library, eyes wide and full of panic. 

“Mr. Lucius! Miss is in the drawing room! Go now!” Kali grabbed his hand before he could even process what she said and they Apparated.

They landed just outside the room. Lucius flung open the doors and rushed inside. What he saw stopped him in his tracks. _Oh, no. This can’t be happening._

Fighting the flashbacks that threatened to flood his consciousness, he occluded and drove everything from that night back into the steel vault he had erected all those years ago. He was not about to repeat what he was unable or unwilling to do then. He had never quite figured out which it was. He shook the cobwebs out of his head. _No, not this time. I’m doing what I should have done years ago._ He was by Hermione’s side in an instant and gathered her in his arms and immediately let the process take over. 

This time was different from the other episodes. This time Hermione was actually facing him, and he could see what she looked like. Her eyes were wild, and when they tried to focus on him he was startled at how beautiful and yet how uncontrollable they were. When they could not focus, they rolled up and Lucius grimaced. Her mouth was shut, and he could tell she was gritting her teeth to keep from biting her tongue. When she recognized him, she tried to say his name, but she couldn’t formulate the word through clenched teeth. 

“You’re going to be alright. I’ve got you. Breathe, for me. Please, breathe.” Even though he knew the likelihood of her understanding what he was trying to tell her was slim, he knew he had to try to short-circuit her brain for a millisecond. He focused on her eyes as if he was performing Legilimency. That was all it took to establish the connection and bring her out of it. He had tried many times before, but she needed to be able to look at him for it to work. 

“Hermione, listen to my voice. You will come out of this. Breathe. Slowly.” He kept repeating the phrases over and over again until finally, she stiffened for a few seconds and then went slack. Lucius could see her eyes begin to refocus and her mouth relax. Her movements were still uncontrolled, but they were slowing. At one point, he shifted from being on his knees to sitting cross legged with her on his lap. He continued to hold her, albeit not as tightly, until she completely calmed.

“Better?” Lucius was tentative. He was loath to bring up what brought her to the room; he knew it had to be addressed. But he needed to make sure she was stable first. “Did you hit your head at all? I can have Kali bring you some ice.” He reached behind her head and felt for a lump.

“I don’t think so. And yes, I’m much better.” Now Hermione looked chagrined. “I’m sorry.”

“Whatever for?” Lucius did not understand why _she_ was apologizing to _him_. “This is nothing that we haven’t already been through.”

“I was upset and I didn’t know what to do. So I did the only thing I could think of at that moment and that was to leave. Only I didn’t want to go back up to my room. I thought I was going towards the kitchens but the hallway got darker and the portraits started screaming at me. I had to get away from them and I found this room. I didn’t even know where I was until I felt this pull towards the center of the floor. When I saw the bloodstain I was taken straight back there, to that night on the floor with Bellatrix _crucio’ing_ me.” She shuddered as she tried to keep the memories at bay. “The next thing I knew I felt tingling in my arms and barely managed to grab the bell.” She closed her eyes at the memory of getting the bell just in time.

“Well, now you know why I didn’t want you going back and forth without either Kali or myself. This place is not friendly to visitors, mentally or physically. It’s easy to get lost and when the portraits spot fear, it doesn’t matter who you are, they feed off it. When I was young, I had nightmares about them.” Lucius chuckled softly.

Hermione opened her eyes in disbelief. “Wow. I mean, wow. The great Lucius Malfoy admitting there might be a chink in that 6-inch thick armor. I never thought I would see the day.” Hermione smiled at him. And Lucius got lost in the brilliance. _She really is so beautiful when she smiles._

After a moment, Lucius took a deep breath and cleared his throat. If he was going to do this, there would never be a better time and place.

“Hermione, you began our very first conversation by asking ‘why you?’ I admit that the idea of using what I learned and whittling down my service hours was definitely appealing. But I felt something else. I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you I bore much of the responsibility of your imprisonment at the Manor. It was up to me to decide almost everything regarding your...stay here and I was determined to make up for mistakes I had made in the past. In Voldemort’s service. It was to protect my family, I hope you understand that. I deeply regret my actions and I apologize for them.” 

Hermione was deeply touched by his apology and decided to share her flashback. 

“When I was reliving that night, before the seizure hit, I saw it in a completely different light. Bellatrix, well, she will never change. She will always be that unhinged crazy woman with a sadistic lust for violence. But in my mind I was back on this floor and in between curses I looked around the room. Ron—” Lucius tried not to roll his eyes— “no, look, he will always try to save me, rescue me, even if it means sacrificing himself. But the Malfoy family? I saw something different this time. I saw Draco and Narcissa in the corner. I thought they were looking at me, disgusted because I was a Muggle-born, staining their pristine parquet floor. No, they were looking at Bella with disgust for what she was doing to me. 

“And then I saw you, the implacable Lucius Malfoy, Pure-blood extraordinaire, barely holding himself up by the fireplace. Looking like he had walked out of Azkaban that day, gaunt but determined. Your eyes, Lucius, are so expressive once you know what to look for. _They_ tell people who you are, not your bearing, your wardrobe, or your aristocratic blood. And it was in your eyes where I saw the battle you were waging. You looked everywhere but at what was actually happening. You wanted to stop her, but you just couldn’t do it. Your life had whittled down to one goal: to protect your family, at all costs. You would look at Draco and Narcissa and I could almost see wheels turning: how could you keep them safe and stop Bellatrix at the same time? You couldn’t. And do you want to know something? If it were my family, I would have done the same thing. In fact, I did. I obliviated my parents, did you know that?” 

Lucius was stunned. Hermione continued, “Yes, I did that. They were in danger and I wanted to keep them safe so much that I erased their memories of me and sent them to Australia. So, I absolutely would have done what you did, without any hesitation. I appreciate the effort it must have taken for you to apologize, but Lucius, there is nothing to apologize for. Nothing to forgive.”

Lucius just looked at her for a moment, gathering his thoughts and marveling at her words. After a long pause, he spoke.

“You truly amaze me, Miss Granger. From even before I met you in person, hearing Draco go on and on about the Muggle-born whom he could not beat, I could tell you were different. From the time I first met you at Flourish and Blotts, that day before your second year, when you stood up to me so fearlessly, talking about naming the fear, I knew you were special. I just could not admit it to myself and certainly not to anybody else. My beliefs would not let me really see you. I had to label you and force you to fit inside that label. But I was wrong. So, so wrong. 

“You are so much more than a witch, a Muggle-born. You do have the heart of a Gryffindor; your bravery during this unfortunate illness is unmatched by any medieval knight, or African warrior. Your optimistic spirit is unquenchable; you never lost hope that you would pull through this. Every time the seizure was shorter, everytime you walked to the library without having to stop, you never failed to remark upon it.”

Hermione was watching his face, in disbelief. As he finished the previous sentence, she watched him visibly control his emotions so that he could continue. _What has happened to this man? All of a sudden, he has become a living, breathing,_ feeling, _human being. Someone I could..._

Using the last vestiges of his famed control, he continued.

“But Hermione, in spite of all those marvelous qualities that I have been discovering these last few months, it is your compassion that outshines everything. My first glimpse of it was at Draco’s and Narcissa’s trials. You could have ignored them, let them suffer, enacted revenge upon them. But you didn’t. You stood up for them and defended them. A boy who did nothing but demean you from day one and make your life hell for 6 years. A woman who would have spit on you if she saw you on the street. You saw something in them that told you they were redeemable and you saved them. 

“How you readjusted your perception of me on that night four years ago, though, is beyond me. You are absolutely right. I was torn between wanting to pull Bellatrix off you, knowing that we would all suffer and having to watch you being tormented and marked by a madwoman. I desperately wanted to save you, and instead you ended up in my cells. 

“I had seen so many men tortured with the _cruciatus_ curse, and when Bella started in on you, thinking you had stolen the sword, I thought I was desensitized. But watching you go through that torture was the worst and the bravest thing I had ever witnessed. A slip of a girl, eighteen years old, who denied over and over again stealing from her vault. And you never broke. You _never_ broke. And I was never the same. 

“When I came to your room in the hospital, I truly did not know it was you. And no, I did not have the purest of motives when we started your therapy. But when I saw you endure seizure after seizure, I was reminded of your courage and inner strength that night and I was damned if I was going to let that be taken from you. That was when I made my decision to work anonymously. It was and still is an attempt to alleviate your suffering now and perhaps make up for past wrongs. And I have never regretted it.”

Lucius looked down at Hermione and saw the tears in her eyes. He didn’t realize it but a tear of his own had dropped from his face. He leaned forward and very tenderly placed a kiss on her forehead where the tear had landed. He pulled back and she was smiling softly. He smiled back. 

They sat in silence for a few more moments and then he called for Kali. The house-elf appeared and clasped her hands together when she saw them sitting on the floor. She came to stand in front of them and placed her hand on theirs and they Disapparated. 

\--

After the seizure in the drawing room, Lucius decided it was time for Healer Parker to pay a visit and check Hermione’s progress. On the day of her appointment, Lucius greeted the healer at the floo and showed him to Hermione’s bedroom. He did not stay for the examination, but left Kali to make sure the healer was thorough and that Hermione did not downplay her progress or her setbacks.

After he had examined her and quizzed her about the frequency, length and intensity of her seizures, he appeared to be satisfied. 

“Miss Granger, you seem to be well on the road to good health. You have gained an appropriate amount of weight, you seem to be moving around with no impediment and that is no small feat after what you have been through. Mr. Malfoy’s therapies appear to have been very successful. A few more weeks and I can officially discharge you and you can go home.” Parker looked smug, thinking about the immense amount of credit he was going to be taking for this turnaround. 

“In the meantime, you should start going outdoors and taking walks. The exercise will only help you even more. I’ve heard the Malfoy Gardens are legendary. Once the weather warms up, I’m sure you would enjoy them.” 

Hermione was taken aback for a moment. She had grown so comfortable at Malfoy Manor (the drawing room, notwithstanding) she had almost forgotten her other life. And she wasn’t sure how she really felt about it. Yes, she wanted to get back to her work in the Ministry, but she almost felt like a prisoner who was suddenly set free. She had her sea legs, but she still felt somewhat at sea. 

“Healer Parker, are you sure? It’s just that...well, I haven’t really tested my endurance and I haven’t lived alone for a couple of years. Ron has moved on and I don’t know what kind of support system I have left.” 

Harry and Ginny were traveling around with Ginny’s Quidditch team and all of her other friends from Hogwarts had established themselves, gotten married and started families.

“I’m sure Mr. Malfoy would like to return to full time work and reclaim his home, not to mention be released of his obligation to me, but what should I do?” 

The thought of being on her own after being so dependent on others for so long was actually making her feel a little agoraphobic. 

“Miss Granger, I’m sure Mr. Malfoy won't begrudge you anything. And I’m sure you would be valuable assistance while he’s leading the hospital’s capital camp...” Parker’s hand shot up to cover his mouth. “Miss Granger, please pay no attention to me. I just meant that I’m sure he would not kick you out just because you are almost recovered.”

Hermione narrowed her eyes at him. “What did you say? A capital campaign...for St. Mungo’s? How did this come about? Come, Healer Parker, you’ve already spilled some of the beans, may as well drop the whole bushel.” She sat down in the armchair by the fire, and gestured to him to sit as well. He was not leaving any time soon.

“Beans, what’s this about beans?” Parker was confused, but when he saw the teasing glint in Hermione’s eye he realized he shouldn’t take it literally. “Oh, ok, that’s a joke. I get it.” Of course he didn’t.

“Well, in order to discharge you from the hospital and be allowed to continue working with you, I extracted a deal from Mr. Malfoy. You see, he would not be able to count his community service without coming into hospital, so he agreed to spearhead a campaign for us. With the money he is raising the hospital will be able to upgrade its equipment, train more staff and improve its labs. If there is enough, we might be able to set up a center for victims of the war, such as yourself. They would get the care they need and we would be able to work to create new therapies such as Malfoy’s.”

“Victims like myself? You mean from the _cruciatus_ curse?” Hermione was thoughtful.

“Yes, as well as others who suffered new curses that we didn’t know existed and therefore don’t know how to treat. You have no idea how many patients there are who cannot lead normal lives because of these new weapons of war.” 

“Why did I not know about this? I would think that as the first recipient of some of these therapies I would have been apprised of this remarkable situation.”

Healer Parker shifted in his chair. “Mr. Malfoy insisted that it be anonymous. As long as I figured out a way to balance his community service with his work on the campaign, he didn’t want anyone to know who was behind it.” He leaned closer to Hermione in a conspiratorial air. “I suspect,” he whispered, “he was afraid no one would support it if his name was on it.” 

_Why is this man a doctor? But more importantly, why_ didn’t _Lucius tell me about it?_ Hermione stood up, indicating it was time for him to take his leave. 

“Healer Parker, I’m going to talk to Lu...Mr. Malfoy about this project. I do think I could be of some assistance. Thank you for confiding in me.” Hermione was gracious, but she really just wanted him to take his gossipy self and leave. “I’ll also talk to him about what will happen when I’m discharged.” She opened the door to her bedroom and saw him out.

“I’ll be waiting for your owl, Miss Granger.” Kali walked out in the hall with Parker and they Apparated. 

\--

That night at dinner, Lucius asked Hermione how her appointment was. She told him that the healer was almost ready to discharge her from his care. Then she just left it out there hanging, to see if he would pick up on what that meant. And he did.

“Does that mean you can go home?” Lucius was not sure he was ready for what he assumed her answer would be.

“Well, ostensibly, yes. But as I told him, I’m not sure what that really means.” She reiterated her feelings about being by herself and not being sure how to handle it. “I’m struggling with the idea of being on my own and having an episode. I know it’s been a while, but it can still happen. How frequent are Draco’s?” They hadn’t talked much about Draco. He didn’t live at the manor, having moved out after Narcissa died and he recovered. He now headed up one of Lucius’ enterprises. 

“I think he told me the last one was about a month ago. We don’t speak everyday and when we do it’s primarily about business.” Lucius looked regretful.

“When he left the Manor, how many was he having, do you remember?” Hermione thought if she could gauge Draco’s recovery, she might get an idea of her own. 

“I always thought he moved out prematurely. But, let me see, he had been having minor ones by that time. Not incapacitating, per se, but still sudden. I imagine 2-3 a day every few days.”

“How does he handle being on his own? Does he have a companion dog?” Hermione just then thought about how the Muggle world sometimes uses animals with special senses to help people live independently. _I don’t think I’ve seen anything like that in the wizarding world._

“A what? Oh, do you mean a familiar?” Lucius was puzzled.

“No, they train certain dogs to help their owners with mobility issues. Opening doors, picking things up, et cetera. But there are also dogs that have something like a 6th sense where they can pick up on seizures and move their owner to a safe place before the seizure sets in.” Hermione was getting excited at the thought.

“Interesting. No, Draco’s been living with Astoria and she does what she can for him.”

“Hmm. I could investigate the different types of companion animals, but I’d have to go to the Muggle world to do so. I’m not sure I could do that alone.” She sighed in disappointment.

Lucius could see that she was very intrigued by the idea. Before he could stop himself, “I could make some inquiries for you.” Even as he said it he was kicking himself. _Just send her out the door even faster, Malfoy. Excellent._

“Would you really? Are you sure? I know that it’s the Ministry and ….” she trailed off, realizing she may have hit a sore spot. “I mean, have you been back since, well you know?” She inwardly cringed, waiting for some sort of outburst. Surprisingly, none came.

“A couple of times, for work issues. I can owl Kingsley and find out where to get materials.”

All of a sudden, Hermione’s face lit up. “Oh my goodness, maybe you could start a program at St. Mungo’s and introduce companion animals for patients like me.” Too late she gave herself away. “Oh, damn.”

“Hermione, what are you talking about?” Lucius’ stomach tightened up at the impossible thought that she figured what he was doing. “Hermione?” He sounded like he was talking to a five-year-old denying they had just flown on the broken broom behind their back. “Parker told you, didn’t he? Damn the man.” _I wouldn’t put it past him to have done it on purpose._

Hermione was mortified. “I’m so sorry, Lucius. Healer Parker let something slip and I made him tell me what was going on. Why didn’t you tell me about it? The campaign? Because I think it’s a wonderful idea.” 

Lucius was dismayed.. “Because I didn’t want you to…to…” He sighed. “I didn’t want you to think I was taking advantage of you and your situation. I truly don’t want anybody to know.” He sat back in his chair and ran his hand over his face.

“Parker thought maybe it was because you didn't think people would support it if they knew it was you,” Hermione said quietly. “Is that why?”

Lucius scoffed and drank some of his wine. “Of course not. I do not give a damn what _anyone_ thinks. It’s for the good of the hospital. Merlin knows they need the help. It’s more like reparations.” He was silent.

Hermione knew him well enough that if she sat silently, he would elucidate. 

“Plus I never wanted people to think I was just buying my freedom.” _And there it is,_ she thought. _The real reason._

“Can we not talk about this anymore? I spend a good portion of my day on this project. I would like to eat dinner without thoughts of that hospital occupying the part of my brain that enjoys eating.” He picked up his fork and started eating once more.

“Of course, but I have one more request.”

“Of course, you do,” Lucius looked at her fondly. “You always do.”

Hermione took a deep breath. “I want to help you.”

Lucius dropped his fork, stunned. As he started to protest, she raised her hand. “No, Lucius, hear me out. I don’t know what my future is. I can’t go home right now, I know that. I feel like I could do some work, but I can’t go to the Ministry either. I owe you so much. I want to help you out. Please let me.”

Out of that whole plea, the only thing Lucius latched onto were six words. _I can’t go home right now._ Suddenly the world was just a little brighter. But he had to be careful - he was perilously close to experiencing something he had not experienced in quite a long time: a feeling of contentment. And that scared the living daylights out of him.


	9. A Slytherin and A Gryffindor Walked Into a Bar

Once Lucius had accepted Hermione’s offer of help, she owled Healer Parker to tell him of her plans. Lucius, true to his word, owled the Ministry and met with Kingsley in a short, stilted and incredibly awkward meeting. He came home with a stack of materials and dropped them on the table in the library where Hermione was sitting.

“Here. This should get you started.” He started removing his gloves and cloak. “I wonder if spring is ever going to wake up.” He went over to the drink trolley and poured himself a firewhiskey. “It is downright frigid outside.” 

“That reminds me, Healer Parker said I should start taking walks outside when the weather starts to warm up. He mentioned that exercise was very beneficial for my affliction.” Hermione started to flip through the pages Lucius had brought her. “‘The Malfoy gardens were ‘legendary’, I believe.” Hermione sniffed and held her nose up in the air. 

Lucius chuckled. “I must say, that was a fair imitation of our esteemed healer. He says they are legendary only because he’s never seen them. Nor will he.” The last part was under Lucius’ breath. He still incensed over the fact that Parker had broken his confidence and told Hermione about the project.

“Well?”

“Well, what, pray tell?” He looked at Hermione perplexed.

“Are they legendary?” She was truly interested.

Lucius' eyes grew distant stormy. “That was, uh, more Narcissa’s domain. But I have heard it said so.” He grew quiet as thoughts of a happier past flitted around him. A past with a young beautiful wife, the envy of society; a smart, sturdy son who wanted nothing more than to please his parents. A lovely estate, untainted by a madman. 

Hermione reached out and took his hand. “Lucius? Are you all right?” She could feel his palpable grief and regret.

He cleared his throat and came back to the present. “What? Oh, yes of course. Now, do you want to look at these right away, or should we have dinner first?”

Hermione let go of his hand and busied herself with the papers. “Dinner would be wonderful. But do you think we could eat in here? That way we can get started right after.” She looked at Lucius pleadingly. He gave her a sigh of resignation and called Kali. 

“I’ll have you know, Miss Granger, this is the first time dinner has _ever_ been served in the library.” 

“Well, Mr. Malfoy, maybe you should change that.” She looked at him archly.

Lucius merely shook his head.

\--

A couple of days later, Kali Apparated into her room almost beside herself with excitement. 

“What is it, Kali?” Hermione could tell from her countenance that it was nothing serious, but she was definitely curious.

“Miss Hermione, yous has a visitor! He is waiting for you in the library. Should I bring in tea?” Kali is practically turning inside and out with her announcement.

“Who could it possibly be?” Hermione didn’t know anybody even knew she was here. Once her seizures became unmanageable and she was hospitalized, her friends drifted away. There was nothing they could do and she certainly didn’t want them to just watch her waste away. _Could it be, Harry? Oh, if so, this will take some explaining._

Kali just said, “You’ll see, Miss Hermione.” She Apparated them to the library.

When she recovered from the Apparation, she looked towards the fireplace and stopped in her tracks. 

“Draco? What are you doing here? I don’t think your father’s here right now, but I could owl him if you would like?” 

She wasn’t sure how to act. What does one do when faced with their childhood nemesis, who had been subsequently saved by her from Azkaban? And now here she was living in his childhood home! This was her enemy, her bully. In school the lines were drawn and they were black and white. After the war, however, they had blurred. 

Draco turned away from the fireplace. “Granger.” He looked uncomfortable. A stranger in his own home.

 _So, it’s still last names. Alright, Malfoy. I can play at that too._ Hermione walked towards him and grabbed his hands, completely disarming him.

“It’s good to see you, Malfoy.” She said his last name with a little more emphasis. “Come and sit down. Kali is bringing us tea.” She dropped his hands and gestured to the table upon which tea had been set. Draco sat on the edge and rubbed his hands on his thighs.

“Is there a purpose for this visit? I can’t imagine you would just drop in to say ‘hi, how’s it going, Granger?’” Hermione poured for him. He took the cup and added his cream and sugar.

“Well, yes, that would be rather ridiculous, wouldn’t it? I did want to know how you were doing. Father seems to be encouraged. You look very well.” He took a sip. 

_This isn’t the main reason for his visit. There’s something else going on here._ “I am. The Healer from St. Mungo’s is discharging me in a few weeks.” She poured her own tea and doctored it.

“Well, that’s good.” He saw a look flit across her face. “It is good, isn’t it?” 

“Of course it is. It’s just, well, I’m not sure what I’m going to do.” She sipped.

“What do you mean? You’ll go home, back to work, back to your life.” He reached for a scone. He was getting agitated.

“Well, that’s part of the issue. I don’t know if I can live alone. I have no idea if my job is still there. It’s been the better part of a year, Malfoy.” Now she was a little discomfited. “What am I supposed to do?”

Draco looked at her for a long minute. Then he sighed and reached in his jacket pocket and pulled out a flask. “Bollocks. I was hoping I wasn’t going to need this.” He unscrewed the top and took a drink. “What are your intentions with my Father?”

Hermione almost choked on her scone. “Whatever do you mean, Malfoy? He’s been helping me. Just like he helped you. That’s all. I’m deeply indebted to him and...we’ve become somewhat friendly.” She put down the scone and motioned for him to give her the flask. “Hell, I wasn’t prepared to have _this_ conversation.” She took a big swig and wiped the back of her hand across her mouth. “Malfoy, we are patient and therapist.” _Is that really all? You know that’s not true. You don’t want that to be true._

“I can read between the lines, Granger. When I talk to Father, he can’t have a conversation without mentioning you at least once. Oh, don’t get me wrong, he usually buries it in the middle of a report or some such thing. Or this campaign or whatever at St. Mungo’s. But he always manages to mention you. And Granger,” he took another swig and braced himself, “I haven’t seen the look on his face when he brings you up since my mother died.”

_Oh. My goodness. This is...unexpected._

“Look, Malfoy...” Draco cut her off. 

“If you have feelings for him, any feelings for him, you need to tell him. If you don’t, then you need to get the hell out of here as soon as you can.” He tried to eat a bit of the scone, but just ended up setting it on his plate. "I won't let him get hurt."

She stood up, outraged. “And what if I did? Have feelings for him? Would that bother you? To know a Muggleborn is in love with your precious father?” Hermione gasped and covered her mouth. “Oh my god, Draco...” she sat back down in her chair in total astonishment. “Give me that.” She yanked the flask from him and drank deeply. 

“Now I know I’m losing it, you’re drinking whiskey in the afternoon and you just called me Draco.” He smirked before he went on. “You have it bad and you didn’t even realize it. Well, trust me the feeling is mutual. _That’s_ why I’m here. I needed to know if any of it was reciprocated. I guess I got my answer.”

“I don’t know how...when...oh…” She realized when it must have started. “If I’m going to tell this story we need more of...that.” She pointed to the flask as she stood up and walked over to the trolley. Grabbing two glasses and the bottle she floated them over to the table. “We had an argument one night and I left the library and got lost. Guess where I ended up?”

Draco’s eyes grew wide. “You didn’t...” Hermione nodded.

“It was completely by accident. Anyway I was being verbally abused by the portraits and I couldn’t take it so I took the first set of doors I came across and voila! I didn’t realize it at first. There’s a different perspective when you’re _not_ lying flat on the floor.” She poured the drinks and handed one to Draco before downing hers. 

“Granger...I didn’t...” He sputtered, not prepared for this at all. 

She stopped him. “I know, Draco. I know. Anyway, I was standing over the blood stain, yes it’s still there, and I had a flashback.” 

She told him the rest of the story, complete with the seizure and Lucius opening up to her.

“Draco, he was so sorry and repentant and remorseful. And vulnerable. I have never seen a man, any man as raw as he was that night. I cried listening to him talk about me. I was so shocked at what he was saying. I think I even felt a tear fall onto my forehead.” She was not going to tell Draco his father kissed where it had landed. Hermione wiped her eyes and poured another drink. She chanced to look at Draco.

He was taken aback. And speechless. “I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure what I’m more surprised about; his confession or your flashback.” He took her glass, set it on the table and took her hand. 

Looking her dead in the face he said, “I am so sorry for that night. I know that doesn’t come close to making amends but believe me when I say a day doesn’t go by that I don’t think about that night. For the first couple years, I had nightmares about it every night. Between the seizures and the nightmares it’s a miracle I didn’t just die from pure exhaustion. I tried so hard to not...” He broke off unable to finish.

“It’s ok, Draco. I know. I knew what you were trying to do, truly. And Harry told me what you did to help Luna and Dean and everyone else in the cells. That’s why I knew I had to testify for you at your trial. You were a kid, just like us. Only we were being treated as war heroes and you were vilified for doing the only thing a son could do, protect his parents.” She handed him his glass. 

“So...what are you going to do?” Draco was scared to ask but he needed to know.

“I think your father and I are going to have a talk. I have to thank you for coming here today. If you hadn’t, I might have never admitted my feelings. Plus, it doesn’t hurt to know he might possibly, someday, in the future, feel the same way.” She was scared, too.

“Trust me, it won’t be possibly, someday, in the future. The feelings are there, now, just hiding, you know? Don’t let them slip away. I grew up thinking he was this impregnable fortress, ready to shield you and protect you with its life but not very comfortable to sleep in. But he was safety, security and I worshiped him.

“After Azkaban, I thought he would never be the same again. But he got his shit together and regained some of the confidence that made men run the other way. Then Voldemort almost ruined him. Actually, he did ruin him, for a time. 

“When I failed to kill Dumbledore, Voldemort blamed Father. When he got out of Azkaban, Voldemort was already here, at the Manor. He was merciless, Granger, it was horrible.” Draco downed his whiskey. “He did everything he could possibly do short of the Killing Curse. _Crucio,_ slicing hexes, whipping and flogging, even that curse that Dolohov got you with. Father would be on the brink of dying and Voldemort would just heal him up and start over again. The _Crucio_ was the worst because the residual effects don’t go away fast, as you know. When he finally got bored, Voldemort kept him in his own cells and harassed him verbally for hours. 

“Then he brought Bellatrix in and told Father she had replaced him as his second-in-command. Father was crushed more by that than all of the punishments. Voldemort then cleaned him up, took him out of the cells and forced him to punish anyone else who displeased him. That included other Death Eaters, Muggles, me, Mother, even the house-elves. And he did, because he thought it was the only way to save us. Shit, Granger, I hated him for so long. I decided he was weak and a coward. If he had just figured out a way to leave and turn us into the Order, well...who knows what might have happened. Voldemort destroyed his confidence in himself and that, in turn, kept him anchored to him.

“When I started having seizures, he had just gotten out of Azkaban. The therapy he does with you? Well the first time he did, I fought him even during the seizure. I didn’t want him to touch me, to be near me. As far as I was concerned he was no longer my father. But that first time, as soon as he started to squeeze his arms, this blanket of calm came over me. I could tell something was happening with our magic because it ended so quickly. No aftershocks, just calm. We both looked at each other, shocked.”

“How did you figure out why it worked?”

“We didn’t know for sure. We figured it had something to do with how many times he was _Crucio’d_. But the funny thing was, he didn’t seem to have the same problem. He never had a seizure that I know of. Maybe he did in Azkaban, I guess we’ll never know. He absolutely refuses to talk about Azkaban.”

“Do you think there are some Death Eaters in Azkaban who suffered as much and might help other patients like us?” Hermione had a crazy idea forming in her head.

“Possibly, I don’t really know. I mean, yeah, there’s Death Eaters that were punished like he was, maybe not as much, but Voldemort’s favorite punishment was the _Cruciatus_. I can see the gears grinding in your head, Granger. What are you thinking?” 

“Your father started helping me because as far as he knew he was the only one that could and arranged it with my Healer to have community service time deducted. I’m wondering...” She looked at Draco, to see if he was following her.

“No, no way. Those Death Eaters are the worst of the bunch, there is no way. You don’t even know if they would be successful.” Draco crossed his arms, trying to shut down the conversation.

“If I could come up with a plan, would you help me implement it? I’m staying here still, helping your father with his project at St. Mungo’s. I’ll be here for at least a few more weeks, well who knows, now? Anyhow I would really like to see if this could work?” She looked at Draco, earnestly. “Don’t you want that as well? Why should anyone have to continue to suffer like we did?”

Draco thought for a minute. Then he sighed. “I’m glad we weren’t friends at school, Granger. You would have had me expelled by third year. Alright, _if,_ and that’s a big if, you can convince me that this has any chance of working, I’ll help you.” He stuck out his hand.

“Deal?” Hermione put out hers.

“Deal.” They shook hands.

After a moment of awkward silence, they dropped hands and went to stand up. That lasted about three seconds.

“Whoa!” Hermione flopped back down in her chair with her head in her hands. “I didn’t realize how much I drank.”

“Ugh. It’s not how much, it’s how fast we were drinking.” Draco sat back down, too. “I’ve got a sober-up potion in here somewhere.” He started searching through his pockets and finally produced a couple of small vials. He offered one to her. “Don’t say I never gave you anything, Granger.” He smirked as he downed it.

“Thanks, it’s been a long time since I’ve been this tipsy.” Hermione drank the potion and let out a burp. “Oh, Merlin, excuse me. I do not know where that came from.” Then she started giggling. 

Draco laughed. “Now I’ve seen everything. Hermione Granger drunk, burping and giggling. I can die a happy man.” 

Hermione glared at him for a second, but couldn’t keep from laughing. Then as the potion kicked in, embarrassment also set in.

“Ahem, um… well, should I owl you then?” She started to brush imaginary wrinkles from her jumper. 

“Sure. Well, I’d better go, before Father comes home.” He stood up and began to walk to the doors of the library. “Oh, and Granger?”

“Yes?”

“Let’s not say anything to Father just yet about our project. I don’t know how he’ll feel about it and I’d rather have everything set and ready to go before he finds out and shoots it down.”

“Sure, I understand.” 

“We’ll talk later, Hermione.” She looked up and saw his expression. She knew he was teasing, but this was different. 

“Now I _have_ heard everything. Bye, Draco.” 


	10. Lie Back and Think of England. Or don't.

That night, when Lucius returned home, Hermione was fast asleep on the sofa in the library. Everything had been cleaned up and put away so there was no indication that she had had any guests. He removed his cloak and gloves and went over to the drink cart. He picked up the bottle of Ogden’s and... _ wait a minute... _ there was maybe enough for one drink left in the bottle. He turned to Hermione.  _ She wouldn’t have...she couldn’t have...Merlin, I hope she’s not unconscious! _

At that thought, Lucius quickly walked to the sofa. He stopped and looked at her.  _ Phew, at least she’s breathing.  _ Once he got over the shock, he just watched her sleep. She looked so peaceful he wished he could lie down beside her. Maybe some of that calm would spill over onto him. 

Realizing he had better wake her up, he nudged her shoulder. “Hermione, wake up.” She stirred briefly and settled back down.

“Hermione,” he said a little louder. Realizing this wasn’t working, he knelt down next to her head and said her name again. This time she turned and flung her arm out. Lucius just managed to catch it before she gave him a bloody nose this time. She finally opened her eyes. 

“Lucius? What time is it?” She looked around and noticed it was evening. “Did I sleep through dinner?” She struggled to sit up and moaned. “Why is it so bright in here?” 

Lucius smirked at her. “It appears you are in need of a hangover potion, my dear.” 

“What? How can you tell?” She groaned again and this time he laughed.  _ She would be quite adorable if she wasn’t so pathetic. _ Continuing to laugh he summoned the bottle of firewhiskey. He showed it to her saying, “Does this ring a bell?”

“Ugh, don’t blame me, blame your son.” She finally managed to get both feet on the floor and leaned back and closed her eyes. “Are you sure it’s not noon?” 

“Draco was here? Why ever for?” Lucius was concerned. Draco had not mentioned that he was coming over when he spoke with him that morning.

“Uh, he wanted to talk. Apparently we need to drink to be able to talk to each other like adults.” Hermione looked up a Lucius. “Please sit down, you look like an avenging angel looming over me like that.” Lucius put the bottle on the side table and sat down and faced her. 

“No, really. He just wanted to see how I was doing. And he wanted to talk about you.” She may be hungover, but she remembered the conversation vividly. 

Lucius side-eyed her.  _ What is she talking about? What has Draco told her?  _

“What. Did. He. Say.” He was getting a little intense and Hermione was having none of it.

“Lucius. He just told me a little bit about what it was like to live with Voldemort.” Hermione thought she might start there and work her way around to the heart of what she needed to say.

Lucius’ blew air out his mouth like a deflating balloon. He was not ready for this. Not ready to tell her everything. “Oh. I’m not sure I want to have this conversation right now. I can’t imagine why he would think to unburden himself to you, of all people.”

Hermione bristled. “And what is that supposed to mean? Just because I was on the other side doesn’t mean I don’t have some sympathy. Voldemort was an insane creature who espoused a philosophy that was so riddled with fallacies even his followers denounced him! What don’t you want me to know, Lucius?”

“He had no business telling you things about me! That is over and done and I do not want to engage in a discussion about it. Not with you, not with him, not with some Healer who thinks they know how I should feel!” Lucius got up and started for the door. Hermione followed right behind him, ready to placate him. She could not let him leave.

“Lucius, it’s alright. You’re not the only one who suffered. Every one of us alive today suffered. I didn’t realize until today how much you suffered. Please. Talk to me.” She tried to grab his hand, but he pulled away.

“No, Hermione, this conversation is over!” Again, he turns to leave. 

“It won’t get any easier if you put it off. I already know quite a bit. I know that Voldemort punished you mercilessly for your mistakes and Draco’s. I know he replaced you with Bellatrix. I know you had to...” 

Lucius was done. “Enough! I don’t want to rehash history that is better off left alone. Stop badgering me, Hermione.”

“Why, Lucius. Why won’t you talk to me?” 

That was the last straw. He walked up to her, grabbed her arms and looked her right in the eye. “Because I’m in love with you and I’m terrified. If you knew everything, you would wash your hands of me right now, therapy or no. I’m weak and a coward with a lot of money who is used to getting his own way.” He was breathing heavily. 

“Me too, Lucius, me too,” Hermione said quietly. That was all she had to say. He looked at her in disbelief until he saw her eyes shining and the truth behind them. Not giving himself enough time to second-guess, he pulled her to him and kissed her with a passion that only poets and dreamers can understand. It was laden with feelings of grief, pain, love, gratitude, and wonder. Feelings he had shoved behind walls and vaults and shields. He waited a split second, knowing this was do or die. Either she would reciprocate or pull back. She did not pull back. 

He drew his hands up her arms, to her shoulders, her neck and finally cradled her face with them. He opened his mouth and explored her lips with his tongue, asking the eternal question. She gave him the answer he was seeking, and greeted him with hers. She grabbed his wrists with her hands and held on. Each one was trying to get deeper than the other; they could not get enough of each other. 

When they broke the kiss, Lucius looked at Hermione, searching for reassurance. 

“Did you really...?” He was too scared to voice the rest of the question.

“I meant every word, Lucius.” Getting his answer, he covered her mouth again with his, and wrapped his arms tightly around her. When she put her arms around his neck, he shifted to pick her up bridal style and they Apparated.

They landed in his bedroom. Still kissing. Hermione stumbled a bit when he set her down and he steadied her. His arms took their place once again where they had been so many, many times before. After a minute, Hermione couldn’t help but chuckle. Lucius broke the kiss and pulled back, affronted.

“Well, if you didn’t like it, you should have said so.” He looked down at her and made to let go. She tightened her grip on his robe and pulled his attention back to her.

“Hush. I was only thinking that I like this kind of squeezing ever so much better than the other.” She smiled at him and he was lost.

They slowly moved over to his enormous bed, shedding clothes as they went. First shoes, then his belt, her jumper and his tie in that order. They stood at the side of the bed and Hermione reached up to remove his robe. Their eyes never left each other. 

“I don’t want to fumble around in the dark under the covers trying to remove pieces of clothing. I want to see you as I undress you.” Lucius unbuttoned her denims and pulled them down with her knickers and helped her step out of them. On his way back up, his hand brushed against her sex and she gasped. 

“Aaah, I think you like this,” Lucius smiled at the dampness he encountered. 

“Why sir, whatever gave you that idea? I’m not supposed to like this. Am I not supposed to lie back and think of England?” Hermione could not finish with a straight face. 

“This.” He brought his hand up to his mouth and licked the little bit of wetness off. Hermione’s knees almost buckled. 

“Oh my. I don’t think I’m going to be thinking much about England.” Her eyes followed his hand, wishing it was a different part of her body.

He began to unbutton her shirt all the while kissing her neck, her shoulders, the valley of her breasts, down her stomach until he just reached the top where her other curly hair started. He straightened up and saw Hermione’s eyes, glazed over with desire.

“You are so beautiful,” Lucius was in awe of her. He reached around and unfastened her bra. His intake of breath as he pulled it off and dropped it on the floor was audible. “So beautiful.” His hands reached under each breast and he just held them in the palm of his hand. Like they were precious objects to be worshipped and adored. Hermione started to sway and caught herself.

“You, have too many layers.” She reached up to unbutton his shirt and his vest and his pants. As she was divesting of him of his apparel, she kissed wherever she could reach. Light featherweight kisses that made him shudder. He started to take off his shirt and she stopped him.

“Leave it on.” He acquiesced and she just rolled up his sleeves and cuffed them. She stopped briefly when she spotted his fading but still very much present Dark Mark. 

“Hey,” Lucius lifted her chin with his hand, pulling her glance away. “Up here. That doesn’t matter. You matter.” He gently pushed her down to the bed, magically turning down the covers. He pulled his pants off the rest of the way, and crawled in to lie next to her. 

She reached behind his neck and pulled the hair tie off. A cascade of white blonde hair fell in front of his face and he reached up and tucked it behind his ear. 

“I have wanted to do that for so long. Yours may be longer, but I have more volume.” She took a few strands and rubbed them with her fingers. “It feels like silk. Is this magic?” She looked at him suspiciously.

“Product. A considerable amount of product.” He reached up and pulled her hair out of the messy bun she always put it in. Since she had been sick, it had been cut shorter to keep it manageable. But after she came to the Manor, Kali worked her magic on it and it was almost back to its normal length. 

Her curls cascade down past her shoulders and Lucius wrapped one around his finger. 

“You look like a pre-Raphaelite painting. Smooth porcelain skin and copious amounts of auburn hair.” He leaned over and kissed the tops of her breasts.

In a moment of self-consciousness, Hermione blurted out, “Many years ago, your son would have said otherwise.” 

That stopped Lucius. He looked up at her with a hard stare.

“Why is my son in the bedroom, pray tell?” He broke the stare with a smirk.

Hermione had the grace to blush at his statement. “Oh, no I meant…” Two fingers on her lips stopped her.

“I know what you meant. What anyone else thinks of you does not matter. If they can’t see it, that is their loss. Now, may I return to what I was doing?” He did not wait for a response.

He continued working his way down her breasts. He stroked each one with a finger, running it underneath and then coming up and around. He kissed all around them, carefully avoiding her nipples. Very carefully, he let his fingers lightly brush over them and looked up to see her reaction. Hermione’s eyes were closed but her mouth was slack and she inhaled sharply as skin met skin. He could see goosebumps starting to show and he took one nipple in his hand and started rubbing it lightly. He kissed the other nipple, then touched it with his tongue and finally closed his mouth over it and sucked. He heard an audible gasp of his name, and he smiled.

Hermione was in ecstasy. His touch was sending her to a different plane. She felt like she was floating high above, looking down on the pair of them. She marveled at how different they were. One was all muscle and blonde, the other was soft, curvy and darker. And yet they fit. They complemented each other in so many ways. 

Suddenly she felt a warmth pooling between her thighs and she was back in the moment. Lucius had left her breasts and had moved closer to that warmth. She felt his hand cupping her sex and then felt a finger part her lips and stroke the velvet-like wetness. 

He groaned as she spread her legs to let him have full access. Bringing his head down to where his hand was he kissed her sex. He shifted so that he was between her legs and facing her. He looked up for a moment, taking in her whole body. She opened her eyes and looked at him with such want and desire, that he went back down and continued his ministrations. 

He pushed one finger, then another into her. He used his other hand to spread her open and expose her more fully and then his mouth latched onto her clit and he sucked. That elicited a louder moan and she started to move her hips. He moved his arm across her abdomen to still her and she whimpered. 

“Lucius...” She couldn’t get much more than that out before he struck a nerve and her world centered around that one spot. It was as if her life depended on her concentration there. It built as he pumped his fingers in and out. Licking and sucking until she couldn’t see straight. Right before she crested, he pulled his fingers out and lined himself up with her. 

With a glance at her, asking permission to enter, she nodded and he slid into her warmth. 

“Ohhhhh...” Lucius was certain he had never fit so well in any woman. Not even Narcissa. She closed around him like a glove and he could feel her muscles expand and contract. He started moving. As he did, Hermione pulled him back up to her. She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him fiercely. This was a kiss of possession. And he kissed her back with the same passion. She was his and he was hers. 

He could feel he was getting close so he brought his hand back to her clit and stroked all around it.  _ Come on, sweetheart, let go for me. Trust me to take you there. _

“Lucius, I’m so close...” She started to feel the ripples of pleasure start and she couldn’t stop the waves of involuntary movement that began to take over her body. 

“That’s it, love. Just let go. Let go...aaaagh!” Lucius felt her muscles clench around him and he could not hold back any longer. He gave one hard thrust and came with a shout.

Hermione was in a world of her own. She wanted to keep Lucius as close to her as possible, but she couldn’t stop the tremendous orgasm eclipsing everything. Her arms fell away from him as she sailed over the edge in a free-fall. She felt him go, but it felt like he was light years away, and she was floating in her own corner of space. 

Lucius collapsed across Hermione, sated and content. Once he softened, he slid out of her and rolled off. He pulled her to him and looked at her.

“Hermione?”

“Mmmm?”

“Did you think of England?”

A slow smile crept across her face. “No, I couldn’t think about anything.” She looked at him and he leaned forward. 

“I didn’t think so. So tell me, when did you know? About us?”

“That night in the drawing room. What you said to me - no one has ever said anything like that to me before. It was like you knew me inside and out.”

“Well, I have been squeezing the life out of you for the past three months or so, so I’m not sure I could have come much closer with clothing on.”

Hermione laughed at that picture. “When did you know?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure. I know the night we left the hospital, I felt something I had not felt in a long time. When I received that patronus, I was going to move heaven and hell to get to you. When I saw those restraints, it was all I could do not to throttle Parker. I knew I had felt some responsibility for you before that, but that night there was a protectiveness that came over me that I had not felt since, well since Voldemort.” 

Lucius kissed her. Not passionately, or fiercely or possessively. It was a kiss full of meaning and promises.

\--

After what could have been moments or hours later, Hermione stirred. For some reason she couldn’t figure out where she was. But then she felt a warm breath over her ear and she remembered. She opened her eyes and realized she was smack up against Lucius’ chest. She realized she had never been this close to him before, well, before this earth-shattering interlude. So she took advantage and looked closely at his chest.

He had a smattering of fine blond hair across his pectorals that met in the middle and darkened slightly as got closer to his pelvis. He had such smooth alabaster skin. Not so white it looked blue or unhealthy, just pristine in color. As she looked around, though, she could see the damage.

The first mark she could see was his Azkaban tattoo. There were 6 numbers in bold black ink just behind his ear. She didn’t realize inmates were tattooed and it reminded her of the Nazi concentration camps. She shuddered to think of the denigration and humiliation that must go on there. 

Then, there were many small scars, probably from a slicing hex, that dotted along his collar bone. They were uniform in length and distanced apart, almost like notches on a pole. Hermione wondered if there was any significance to that. Her eyes drifted a little lower and she noticed a large scar just under his rib cage. She reached out to touch it and realized it was a burn. She pulled back suddenly and looked up to see if he was awake. Hearing regular breathing she went back to her inspection. 

Other scars were randomly scattered across his abdomen. Some were hardly visible, they were so faint. Others, not so much. One large slash was still angry and red and didn’t look to be very old. Hermione wondered if it was from his time in Azkaban. She touched it lightly and pulled back when the muscle twitched.  _ It looks similar to my scar from Bellatrix.  _ She turned her right arm and looked at her own.  _ I think it might be from the same knife, which can only mean that it came from her. I can’t believe she would do that to her own brother-in-law. _

There was one scar that puzzled her. It was down just under his navel. It looked like a letter. If she could just get close enough... She tried to move down without disturbing Lucius. It looked like...no...it couldn't be…

__ “It’s an ‘M’, Hermione.” She looked back up to him. He still had his eyes closed but his hand was in her hair and he tugged a little to bring her back up. “That wasn’t Voldemort. That was my father.” He never moved nor did he open his eyes.

Hermione was aghast. What kind of father would do that to his son? She put her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him down for a kiss.

“I’m so sorry, Lucius.” She hesitated.

“Go on, I know you’re going to ask.” He knew she couldn’t let anything go without an explanation.

“Ok, why would your father do such a thing? That’s abhorrent.” Hermione’s eyes stung.

“I was twelve. I was home for the summer and practicing for the quidditch team. I flew a little too far and was thrown back by a couple of the wards on the Manor. There were some wards, only my parents could take down. They were meant to keep the house-elves and the peacocks from wandering off.” He looked down for her reaction when he paused.

“Elves and peacocks? I thought elves were bound to the estate and couldn’t leave.” She tried very hard to refocus herself on Lucius. 

“Some of our elves came from other estates. I’m not sure why, I never thought to ask. And the peacocks, as I think I explained when you first came here, were a very rare breed and outrageously expensive. They were my father’s pride and joy. I think it was because they were as mean as him.”

“Oh, ok. Go on then.” 

“Anyway, when I hit the wards, they shocked me and set my broom on fire. It was, of course, brand new, top of the line. When I landed, it was already smoldering. I knew I would be punished, I just didn’t know how and sometimes the not knowing was worse than the actual lesson.

I tried to hide the broom and claim that I lost it, thinking that wasn’t as bad as destroying it. But one of my least favorite elves, Pitchy, I think his name was, found the broom and showed it to my father unbeknownst to me. Well, before dinner, my father came to my room and just said “Come.” You didn’t disobey. I knew deep down it had to be about the broom. So I followed him. I figured I would be taken out to the stable and whipped or made to go a few days without meals.” He stopped for a moment, lost in the memory.

“Lucius, it’s ok if you don’t want to finish. I don’t need to know.” Hermione was concerned for where this was going. The last thing she had wanted to do was force him to go back to a horrendous moment in his past. 

Lucius replied, “I’m so far into it, I may as well finish it. Anyway, I followed him and found myself in the cells. He took me to a room I had never been in before that day and only once since. With you.” He looked down at her to see if she remembered. 

“The one where you...? Oh no, surely you don’t mean...?” She drifted off, not wanting to have her supposition confirmed.

“Yes, the very one. He took me in there and told me to strip to my underclothes. Then he showed me the broom and asked me if I was responsible. I could not lie to him. Anytime I tried that, it made everything so much worse. So I admitted it. He asked me how and I told him it was the wards. 

“He said I was lucky I didn’t get electrocuted. At which point, I was wishing I had been electrocuted; it would have been better than what he had planned. He said to me: ‘Do you know what happens when you get electrocuted, boy? You get burned.’ My heart sank like a stone. I knew this was not going to be good. 

“He made me lie down on this bench and he started a fire in the fireplace. Then he went over to the corner and had his back to me for some time. When he turned around he had attached something to the end of the broom. I couldn’t tell what it was, at least not until he had heated it up and was coming towards me.”

Lucius paused for a minute. “I’m alright, I promise. It was the Malfoy crest. A brand. What they used on the animals we had in our barns. My father asked me if I knew what it was. I nodded and he slapped me and told me to speak up. I said it was the Malfoy crest. ‘Do you know what it’s used for, boy?’” At this point Lucius was back in time reliving the moment and there was nothing Hermione could do about it. 

“I said, do you know what it’s used for, boy?”

“Yes, Father. F-for branding animals.”

“How does it brand?”

“It burns the mark into the hide.” 

“Yes. You were almost burned by the wards. They are there for a reason, boy. So I need to teach you a lesson. If you knew what being burned really felt like, I wouldn’t have to do this, now would I, boy?”

“No, Father.” He shivered as he remembered.

“Now stay still. This has to stay on the skin for a good 5-10 seconds.” 

Lucius came back to the present with a flinch. “You know what was actually worse than the burning? The smell of the skin being scorched. Even today it makes me nauseous. So he did it. Held that fucking brand and burned the Malfoy crest into me. He knew where it would hurt the most and be hidden from view. Right there.” He reached down for the mark. 

“I thought I was going to die. Even after he was done, it still felt like it was burning. He made me get up, didn’t bandage it or anything, told me to get dressed and then locked me in a cell for the day. That was most likely so my mother wouldn’t find out. Later he told me he wasn’t going to heal it, no I had to suffer through it healing like a Muggle. It took weeks.”

They lay there silent for a while. Then Hermione stirred. She ran her hands up and down his arms and then lowered her head down to the brand. When she kissed it she felt Lucius flinch. 

“It’s ok, Lucius. Let me comfort you. I owe you so much, it’s the least I can do.” And she proceeded to kiss every scar on his torso. When she got up to the Azkaban tattoo, she tenderly kissed it and whispered in his ear, “I wish I could kiss away all of your scars, Lucius.”

“You would be here for quite some time, then, my darling.” He looked down at her and smiled softly. 

“Someday I will. I can’t take away the pain of getting them, or the humiliation of seeing them every day, but I hope I can at least make you feel that someone cares and their heart is breaking too.” Hermione reached her hand up and stroked his face. He closed his eyes and a tear appeared in the corner of one eye. Hermione watched as it slowly rolled down his cheek. She kissed it before it could fall from his face. 

Hermione continued, “We all have so many scars, my love. What matters though, is not that pain we went through receiving them, but the comfort you receive years later from someone who knows your secrets and loves you anyway.” 

Lucius wrapped his arms around her and squeezed. “Someday?” He pulled back and kissed her forehead. And looked into her eyes, searching. For certainty.

“I’m not going anywhere, so there will be a lot of somedays.” 

After a long pause, Lucius spoke again.

“I love you, Hermione Granger. Who would have thought?” Lucius chuckled at the absurdity.

“I love you, Lucius Malfoy. Indeed, who would have thought?”


End file.
